Degrees of Separation: 'Social Distancing' Before and After COVID

       Social distancing (or more accurately at the present time, physical distancing) has been with us for decades, sometimes in forms we don't readily recognize as being similar to what we are currently experiencing. While we have been enduring not being able to see some family and friends on our own terms due to externally imposed sanctions (e.g., "stay at home", "shelter in place", "lock down the town", etc.), there are thousands if not millions of us who have actually been either directly or indirectly self selecting such an experience. In this space I offer a few notable categories.

       Consider, for example, a conversation I had in my office with eight year-old Darla, who was lamenting about not being able to see parts of her family or friends on various days, especially weekends. In response to my naïve question as to whether she was allowed to see them, she replied "Yeah, Dr. Irving, but that was before the CHANGE". "The change?", I asked. "Yeah, the CHANGE, the day my parents decided to get divorced; now my family is rarely all in the same place at the same time, I'm always separated from one parent, and I don't get to see my friends on some weekends due to 'parenting time'. In fact, some of my friends also have parents who are divorced and it's really a hassle to match schedules"...Now consider another conversation I had with 25 year-old Mark, who was complaining that he looks forward to meeting up with his high school buddies monthly for burgers and beer at a local restaurant, only to be disappointed that some prefer to go on their "dumb down" phones rather than engage in intimate conversation (voluminous studies demonstrate how, despite the advances in technology that allow us to connect, younger people in particular report feeling 'disconnected'). Then there's the group of committed introverts, who are quite content to isolate short of being ordered to do so. 

       It will be of more than casual interest to see how various categories of self selecting isolationists respond once the limitations on direct/close interactions fade. People throughout the world and those I have been in closer contact with throughout the past few months repeatedly emphasize the longing for intimacy; I hope it sustains.