...Intimate Interactions - Part 2

       So, if the recipe for interpersonal relationships and personal thriving calls for frequent hugs and the prospects for getting them 'resupplied' remains uncertain (see August 22nd post here), what are acceptable substitutes? While the analogy of a food recipe to our current COVID circumstances is limited, I hope to provoke some thought and action regarding the opportunities to sustain intimacy in these challenging times. After considerable thought myself, I offer you the following three categories (or 'ingredients'):

    Pandemic Politeness: "...well mannered, civilized" This concerns not whether but how we physically distance ourselves. Think, for example, of what you do while standing on that X six feet from the next person -- do you look down or straight ahead, isolating yourself while murmuring some negative mantra? Or can you instead give others a 'thumbs up' while simultaneously sustaining eye contact and offering a few genial words -- remember the song we were all taught about the importance of "please, thank you, you're welcome"? Time tested, timely now.

      COVID Courtesies: "...showing regard for others" (Extending a hand while not touching hands). Courtesies we can extend to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Such as yielding your place in line, or holding a door open for someone with lots of groceries (you can do it creatively while distancing). These are especially effective when people least expect or apparently deserve such courtesy. In my experience, the effects are experienced beyond six feet and the impact lasts beyond the moment (I can hear "Linger" by the Cranberries now, can you?). I dare you to try this and see if it's contagious!

       Intimate Intimations: In his popular 1992 book regarding the ways in which people express and receive love ("love languages"), Chapman lists five but I will concern myself with two that I believe are not only potent but also remain highly accessible:

       Acts of Service: these include the 'random acts of kindness' that we hear so much about, as well as more 'directed', intentional acts on behalf of those with whom we have the most 'contact' ("charity begins at home"). I have been encouraged to see how families are generally being kind to one another, beyond what many pundits predicted, given the close proximity over a span of time. 

     Words of Affirmation: words we offer one another that either ensure, assure, or reassure our concern and love for one another. Again, readily accessible, sustaining, and voluminous choices.

       

       While the lack of direct physical contact will certainly continue to be sorely missed for at least the next few months, the good news is that all three of the foregoing 'substitute ingredients' are only limited by our imaginations and willingness. These are certain to add intimacy to our daily encounters, no matter how near or far. I challenge you to create your own recipe!