Sizing Up the Pandemic: Solomon's Wisdom

       As I was listening to the BBC reporter interview a representative from an African country regarding the reopening of schools, the conversation went in a now highly familiar, almost predictable direction. That is, when asked how they were able to open schools safely, the representative replied: "...and we reduced class sizes by half..." Well, of course, in this new age of COVID Calculus, based on the cornerstone theorem of the Pandemic Principle, everything's half off! Why 50%, why not 48%, how come not 55%?! Whose Ph.D. dissertation from M.I.T. did this come from, anyway? 

       Which brings to mind the Biblical account of King Solomon. Upon being named king, he prayed for gift of wisdom over anything else, as he anticipated (in his already inherent 'wisdom', I guess) he was going to be called upon to judge his people and he wanted to do so fairly, judiciously. And thus, he was given the gift of wisdom, as the Bible tells us. Thereafter, he was confronted with judging the maternity of a baby (first custody battle ever recorded?), prompted by a passionate argument between two women claiming to be the biological mother. When he offered to cut the baby in two as a way to accommodate both, one woman immediately sacrificed her 'rights' to the other which, of course, allowed King Solomon to infer the identity of the true mother and award her the baby accordingly. 

       So, who in their infinite wisdom, was the first to say that all indoor venues including restaurants, schools, and any other indoor 'spaces' should be halved, enabling "guests" to feel safe from COVID (actually from each other)? Apparently, in the new math, COVID Calculus, this is dynamically related, whether a derivative (remember this math term?) or a 'tangent', to the now relied upon Six Foot Rule...does halving the area in question allow for six foot spacing? What if the real equation was like pi (which is approximately equal to 3.14159 but has been carried out way beyond 100 digits)--can you imagine the so-called experts with tape measures, slide rules, and calculators showing the movers where to put the desks and/or tables...? This in turn is, of course, related to the science of fluid mechanics, specifically of 'droplet technology' and the attempt to predict the course of the little buggers' behavior when emitted at different speeds and strengths (e.g., sneezing vs. shouting, vs....). But that's for another day. 

       Another venue which has necessarily come to the forefront of measurement is that of sports stadiums and arenas, as well as places people might gather for a common purpose (e.g. theatres, houses of worship). Regarding football stadiums in particular, in case you hadn't noticed, someone in their quadratic quandary came up with 20% as a safe amount (or 1/5 if my math teachers taught me correctly, which is one-and-a-half 1/5th's short of 50%....huh?!). Finally, the most recent CC math statement comes from Jolly Old England, in the form of the Rule of Six: "The Rule of Six crackdown begins with people risking up to 3,200 (pound) fines for breaking lockdown measures, for gathering with more than six people..." (you do the $'s math!). 

       Finally, imagine if the current trend of halving was actually changed to either 48 or 55%, you were the person 'on the bubble', and you were standing in judgement by King Solomon (or arguing about ownership of a particular seat in the bleachers)--would you offer to 'give an arm and a leg' to even things out? Stay tuned for more from the new COVID Calculus as we continue to size up this pandemic, in an attempt to...'square the circle'!