Viral Vocations: Vetting, Vexing

Public Service Announcement:  Thought it would be timely, given the national and even international attention of a vetting process happening in 'real time' in our capitol, in order to provoke thought and conversation amongst us regarding the vetting process in general, and more specifically in the context of a few 'viral vocations'. 

Stand (Sit) and Deliver: Have you ever found yourself in a position where your professional resume (perhaps polished and refined by a professional consultant), if not your whole life, was examined under a microscope (foreshadowing here), worked over with a 'fine toothed comb'? How many of us could withstand the type of barrage that the legal beagles, professional politicians, and paparazzi fire at candidates vying for office these days? Is this why, so many of us wonder, that there seems to be a dearth of strong candidates running for public office, when we know there are people with leadership qualities somewhere among us? Who needs it?! But you have likely experienced at least a watered down version, less dramatic example, when filling out a job application as an adolescent, being interviewed for your first professional position, or when you are asked by your kids what you do all day at work (they've probably been able to see it more up close and personal lately, if they even care).  I offer you just two fictionalized but easily imagined scenarios involving COVID related occupations:

Interviewer: " It says here you have a degree in 'Fluid Dynamics' and that you have been researching this virus at a cellular level, in a quest to see what types of changes are taking place as you watch..."                Interviewee: "That's correct"                                                                                                                          Interviewer: "That you stay up through the night sometimes when you get fresh specimens"                          Interviewee: (humbly) "Yeh, but I can always get a power nap..."                                                                Interviewer: So, just where do these specimens originate?"                                                                          Interviewee: "Uh....Well....Um...from peoples' orifices"                                                                                Interviewer: " Their what?!"                                                                                                                          Interviewee: "Well, to tell you the truth, their mouths and noses..."                                                                Interviewer (pressing, like a judicial committee member, on the hunt): "Go on..."                                        Interviewee: "In the form of mucous and boogers"                                                                                        Interviewer: "Well, why not just write that on your resume and save us both some time?"                            Interviewee: "Mutating mucous under a microscope, up close with others' boogers, are you kidding?! I was afraid if I really wrote down what I do, people wouldn't appreciate it, they would think it's not something to sneeze at, ain't worth spit!"                                                                                                      Interviewer: "No way--we owe you a load of thanks, you're awesome, you're hired!"

Potential Boss: "You are applying for a position with our organization that manages thousands of people--what qualifies you?"                                                                                                                                      Aspiring Employee: "Didn't you read the title of my last position, 'Campus Migration Manager'?"              Potential Boss: "So you studied the flow of students between buildings and elsewhere; why does that matter?"                                                                                                                                                          Aspiring Employee: "It didn't used to, until the last seven months"                                                                Potential Boss: Did you work for the college of public health, business school, or other department?"      Aspiring Employee: "Other"                                                                                                                          Potential Boss: "Tell me more, what you do day-to-day..."                                                                            Aspiring Employee: "Um...well...I was in charge of installing locks on dorms, classroom buildings, and other university facilities"                                                                                                                              Potential Boss: "To what end, crime prevention?"                                                                                        Aspiring Employee: "Actually, it's to keep students in place at times, whereas at others to keep them out; the university just doesn't seem to be able to make up their minds"                                                                Potential Boss: "So, you are actually a locksmith"                                                                                        Aspiring Employee: "Yep, back by popular demand!"

Time to update, tweak your resume? Are you scheduled to be vetted in the near future? Be prepared!

Back to regular programming, back to D.C. ...