How do I find you on this Thanksgiving--feeling rebuffed, chuffed, or stuffed?

       According to the "Search" of my own blog, I have made the topic of feelings and thoughts one of the most frequent considerations of my weekly posts (what do you expect, I'm a psychologist). Starting early in the pandemic, I offered and 'provoked' you with different angles on some mainline feelings (e.g., anxiety, sadness). Obvious but worthwhile, in my humble opinion. As you have no doubt caught on, I am also given to the use of alliterations...anytime, anywhere (today I resort to simple rhyming). Another favorite past time in my office and in my writings is to enlarge an individual's emotional vocabulary and right here, right now, I present a few words relevant to not only our recent daily experience throughout the pandemic, but especially to give pause on this particular day, which has been set aside for a common purpose, where we break bread and give thanks together, even while apart.

"No Good Deed...goes unpunished, of course! Words of encouragement (!) that my main mentor offered when we were rebuffed, even when we attempted to be of some help to someone: "Rule number one, don't take yourself too seriously as you will inevitably be underappreciated...not to be divorced from Rule number two, which is continue even then to take your service to others seriously" Wisdom that sustains me now, which has been time tested and 'weather resistant' in both my professional and personal life. Who of us haven't experienced this? On the other hand, as we ostensibly yearn for more intimacy, more closeness lately, who hasn't been guilty on occasion of rebuffing others, albeit unintentionally, when approached in a store, curbside, or closer to home ("Please leave it on my doorstep, but most of all, LEAVE!"). This, especially if we think we've 'unmasked' someone's less-than-honorable intentions. 

Mother Teresa, Martin Rinkart, Everyday Saints...huffing and chuffing ("chuff", a word from Brits synonymous with being thankful, whereas "chuffing" is associated with the sound of a locomotive--using it here to denote the incredible fortitude certain individuals manifest in their indefatigable and many times thankless efforts on behalf of humanity). The many works of Mother Teresa are known to most of us and she (not sure whether she would be amused or embarrassed) is now used as a universal benchmark for moral development ("I'm no Mother Teresa, you know..."). But what about Martin Rinkart? Well, to be truthful (have to when mentioning Mother Teresa), I just learned of this saintly fellow this morning in the context of a Thanksgiving devotional. In short, he served as a clergyman in Saxony, Germany for more than 30 years in the 1600's, during more genial times as well as war and plague. In addition to overseeing joyous events and celebrations, during one particular year he conducted over 4,000 funerals--including that of his wife. He and his family were no strangers to scarcity or hunger and, while having every reason to despair, he continued to find ways to give thanks, partly through the words "Nun danket alle Gott", the basis for the now familiar hymn "Thank We All Our God".

Stuffed...if not by now, soon. When you are complaining you did not get to break the wishbone of the turkey, feeling groggy because of ingesting too much tryptophan, or wondering how to give thanks under these pandemic circumstances while separated from those you cherish: beyond considering those who don't have sufficient food or housing (globally AND locally), think about the saints of old, and try to imagine those that may yet come...how can we act a wee bit saintly, be chuffed even when rebuffed? 

       I offer you this Thanksgiving card incorporating words I also came upon this morning which resounded to me personally, exceeding all the posts I have offered put together, words from yet another saint: as a young priest, John Henry Newman became sick while in Italy and unable to travel for three weeks (familiar theme), while immobilized and forlorn, penned the words which became the hymn "Lead Kindly, Light":                                                                                                                                        "And with the morn those angel faces smile,                                                                                                  which I have loved long since, and lost awhile"  -John Henry Newman, 1833

       And, if you find yourself being underappreciated like a 'Lame Duck' (timely, eh?), remember on this particular day you are fortunate not to be 'Tom the Turkey'. Happy Thanksgiving to All!