Heavy Lifting, Unburdening 

       Atlas, in Greek mythology, was a Titan condemned to hold up the celestial heavens or sky for eternity. Most of us have come to envision (partly via many statues) him as being burdened by a globe on his shoulders. Universally, we have experienced times in our lives where can totally relate to Mr. Atlas, where we have viscerally felt the weight of the world on our shoulders, our minds, or our hearts ('heavy hearted'). To the astonishment of no one reading this (thank you for tuning in to #101!), as a professional psychologist, I have heard this more frequently throughout 2020. Herein are some reflections that may help to lighten your load, ease some burdens, some of which others before you have endorsed as beneficial.

OUTWEIGHED! Three days ago, I listened to an in depth interview with a scientist detailing the scientific analysis and data, which resulted in the conclusion that the world may have reached a type of 'tipping point' -- that the stuff that we make, manufacture, outweighs all that 'Mother Nature' has manufactured. As I listened intently, I tried to grasp not only the implications for all of humanity and our planet, but also how much time and effort went into such a study, when they could have simply compared a week's worth of Amazon deliveries with those from Grub Hub (science made simple, but perhaps I am missing a view essential details here). 

Pack Heavy, Travel Light: On a practical level, there are obviously times and circumstances that call for packing all you can carry, whereas others to lighten your load. In his 1990 book "Things They Carried" (a series of short stories about a platoon of soldiers in Vietnam), Tim O'Brien uses 'stuff' that soldiers took with them (both those of a tangible nature as well as things that weighed on their minds and hearts) as a lens into their characters, their previous lives that led them to this place (ever found yourself in a "getting to know you" exercise where the leader asks you to tell the group something about yourself based on something in your pocket--annoying!). Earlier, in the 1986 movie "Platoon" the acerbic sergeant played by Tom Berenger admonishes (to put it gently) a newbie played by Charlie Sheen to pack light in anticipation of going on his first mission, a lesson he had to learn the hard way. 

       When we went on vacation or even just a day trip, our mother, a nurse by profession (never retired), reflected the "make sure you've got everything you might need" approach. Yes, she was a master of 'inclusion', making a list of everything she/we might need, ranging from first aid to snacks (TG!). My subsequent experiences lead me to believe this is a trait common among nurses. Our dad, on the other hand (luckily), was a master at utilizing every square inch of trunk space; I'm convinced that if he had survived he would have been a master of "Tetris" (reflected also in his prowess as a civil engineer). 

'Inside Out': A common exercise in my office (well, inside my computer these days) is to get my audience to pause and reflect on how much of their burdens weighing them down are externally imposed versus more of a self-imposed nature, how many are tangible (many these days) rather than those imagined and/or exaggerated by our own internal orientation at the time. I try in turn to get them to inventory those of a more disruptive nature, those that are more time sensitive that cant be deferred, and those they have relative control of (think "Serenity Prayer" here). This, given a finite amount of time and energy one has, in the presence of multiple stressors (more so these days for most of us). Consider yourself trying to practice as a triage nurse, who has to prioritize as to who gets seen first, distributing human and other tangible resources, a valuable exercise no matter what venue you find yourself in. In the presence of great intentions, diligence, and compassion, there is a tendency to take on more than we can 'carry', which can lead to an experience of complete ineffectiveness. Thus, I frequently call on the person's discernment to temper the other foregoing traits, in order to sustain their energy. 

Counter-Intuitive:  I routinely get asked whether I get tired of listening to others' problems all day, how I avoid getting overburdened by taking on their burdens. Well, first of all, listening to problems does not come close to encompassing the course of any one conversation a mental health professional might experience, given the range of topics represented in any one session. More powerfully, I came to look at one's willingness to share woes, regrets, areas of personal shortcomings, and any other forms of psychological burdens as a stronger measure of trust, a type of privilege strongly tied to responsibility. The main point for all of us is the strength we can all experience in being trusted--when have you actually felt burdened by others trusting you? It's all about perspective; sharing burdens can make us all stronger. Another exercise I routinely share is the 'acts' of thinking and praying on behalf of others (who hasn't said "you will be in our thoughts and prayers"?), one that requires no yoga mat. I have often said that you will never run out of things/people to pray for, nor run out of energy to do so, and remain inspired by the awareness of so many of you exercising daily, others throughout the night (you would think with the frequency and intensity of doing so would make us all look like "Charles Atlas" himself!).

The Road Ahead, Up Close and Personal: "A long, cold road to Bethlehem:...gospel accounts of Mary and Joseph's journey gloss over the arduous reality of life and travel in ancient Galilee..." as Dr. James Strange, a biblical and archeology professor at University of South Florida, and others remind us,"...we have no idea just how difficult it was, what they had to carry while Mary was carrying an unborn child..." Regardless of time and social/physical 'distance' we can achieve perspective of what it might be like to walk in another's shoes. In a contemporary context, for example, there are people at this very minute who are carrying their own children from one refugee camp to another (e.g. Sudan), while others spend most of their morning, if not their entire day, carrying water from its source back to where the immediate need is. I have, in a previous few columns, presented the idea you can achieve a great workout by simply carrying buckets of sand and/or water -- a luxury and recreational pursuit for most of Us, who are indeed fortunate. 

Heavy-Ladened?  "The road is long

                                With many a winding turn

                                That leads us to who knows where

                                Who knows where

                                But I'm strong

                                Strong enough to carry him

                                He ain't heavy, he's my brother

                                So on we go

                                His welfare is my concern

                                No burden is he to bear

                                We'll get there..." 

The very first time and every time without fail as I listen to "He Ain't Heavy" (originally recorded by "The Hollies" in 1969 and Neil Diamond a year later) it has sustained me, when I am weighted down.