Getting Outside Ourselves, Getting Ourselves Outside: Inside Out!

Rerun? "Don't tell me you're going to quote that Pixar film again!" No, actually the use of 'Inside Out' here is simply a convenient way to cover two ideas with one term, one which might catch your eye and prompt (or provoke!) you to think about two trends against which I find myself coaxing many of you lately: the trend to go inside yourself and become too 'me' centered ('selfie' these days) versus a view toward others and their needs; and staying indoors to a degree which is both unnecessary and even unhealthy, neglecting the healthy benefits of what's waiting right outside your door.

Staging a Comeback: Erik Erikson, whose psychosocial stages of development have been a focus of more than one post here, referred to the 7th stage of life as "Generativity versus Stagnation" --the choice to show interest and invest in other people (the future generation for Erikson), or the trend (whether a conscious choice or not) to place one's circumstances above all, become insular, and minimally productive. While usually associated with middle adulthood (i.e., about 40-59 years old), I find that more of us can relate to this stage lately regardless of age. Reflected, for example, in a quote from just yesterday, by someone in their mid 30's: "I'm so bored I can hardly move!" Can you relate? Even during the first few months during this pandemic a bunch of folks shared with me the perplexing phenomenon of being aware they had more time on their hands and were overwhelmed with not knowing what to do, resulting in boredom...malaise...stagnation. A trend that has continued to this day. But early on and as of this moment, there is way out of this, which is simply to..."Get over yourself!" I'm sure you have been told this more than once in your life, maybe even well intentioned. The idea here, as I have noted in at least a few previous posts, is to recognize the counter-intuitive, 'self-serving' value of recognizing and trying to address the needs of others, who might actually be in worse shape.

Near Sighted - Hazel I's: You don't have to look far to recognize opportunities to make a difference on behalf of another. It could be a small, apparently 'ordinary' gesture as asking a neighbor if they are in need of something at a store you are going to (or even if you are having groceries delivered), especially if you are aware they are without transportation, or isolated from family. Or a simple hand written note of encouragement you leave on someone's door (such as when some local third graders became pen pals with a former grad during her National Guard boot camp). Hazel Wolf was an early environmentalist in the U.S., who continued to be of service to her community until almost her last breath at 101: "You can't do two things at the same time...you can always find a way to be of service, instead of sitting home and watching TV...all of these activities and friendships that come with them keep you from feeling sorry for yourself and focusing on your aches and pains..." Need I say more? Thanks, Hazel, you're just what the doctor ordered!

One Tough Mother, Mudder: "Necessity, the mother of..." Having to flee for their lives from Nazi Germany in 1937, Gert Boyle's parents found themselves in Portland, Oregon, where they purchased a small hat manufacturer, which grew and eventually became the Columbia clothing line, known primarily for their outdoor wear. After the business eventually passed into the hands of her husband, Gert herself had to go through an overnight transformation from housewife to executive when her husband died suddenly. Her high standards, exemplified by her oft quoted "It's perfect, now make it better", also earned her the moniker "Tough Mother", which also became part of the Columbia brand. As well as their mission to get us all up and going out: "We're as passionate about the outdoors as you are...the lush forests...and wide-open spaces serve as our playground...where we hike, camp, climb...and just enjoy the fresh air with friends..." Maybe even participating in such a rugged, playful event as a "Tough Mudder" (an endurance event in which participants, usually as part of a team, attempt a 10-12 mile obstacle course, after which you can make mud pies with your friends). And, to sustain you, there's "Tough Mother" apple cider vinegar shots. 

Inside Out, Indeed! Consider yourself coaxed.