I, NOT a Robot, more like a Zombie these days...

Linked In and Out: A "Linked In" tailored to me and my professional background, caught my attention this morning and took me back about 15 years...to a conversation I had with an enterprising young man who offered to link me in to a larger audience for my professional practice which, upon reflection, was more accurately described as 'linking out' -- that is, outside of my target audience. My target audience up until then comprised almost exclusively as those referred to me by other people, not a device. People such as physicians, educators, and others who had formerly come to see me and deemed it a worthy process on behalf of someone they in turn knew. PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. This young man went on to extol the virtues of adding the option of people doing therapy via the internet...digitally. Fast forward to this morning and the company looking for additional therapists to extend their 'digital' mental health services. I read further to see what they actually offer and, as I expected, found a description not unlike .com dating sites -- depending on what and how often you want to access their services, there's a monthly plan for everyone, every need: "...an algorithm matching you with a therapist that can probably best meet your needs and your submitted profile..."

Cookies and Cookie Cutters: As I read further, I scanned a menu or presenting concerns and the types of treatment 'tutorials' to respond to them. While the described approach actually seemed to have some substance, without complete understanding of the individual and the complexity/nuances of her/his personality, the interventions could easily miss the mark...a 'cookie cutter' approach, not too different than those phone in shows featured in some earlier sitcoms (again, not always bad advice but possibly ill timed, among other concerns). Based on what we read and order online, our computer thinks it can read my mind, finish my sentences (cookie monster!)-- impressive in how often it is correct but, just like a mother who knows her children better than I ever will, is also wrong enough times that I would not rely solely on her intuition (while a mother's intuition certainly remains among the strongest tools in a pediatrician's arsenal).  

Desperately Seeking Susan: Artificial Intelligence has come a long way since HAL the computer was introduced to us in "2001 Space Odyssey" and Sonny (as the robot preferred to be called in the 2004 film "I, Robot", starring Will Smith). Most of us have since developed relationships with Siri and/or Alexa, relying on them for many of our basic needs via our iOS or Android (sure sounds robotic to me). They have aptly demonstrated their personal prowess, providing so many needs they could almost be considered therapists. These two Susans (Bennett and Coplin, respectively, whose voices are now inexorably aligned with those of  Siri and Alexa) probably know more personal information than 1,000 therapists collectively! 

Golden Nugget Award(s): Throughout the lifespan and through the ages, it is one of my strongest impressions that two 'golden nuggets' all people seek include trust and intimacy. These become the bedrock for a strong foundation of our most meaningful relationships, whether parent-child, sibling, friends, or lovers. It is always an easy sell when I discuss how we all value these two elements of an enduring, fulfilling relationship and the feelings of security they both bring: you can't have real intimacy in the absence of trust and trust itself, while highly valued, does not guarantee intimacy in its many 'variants'. When both are present a person comes close to nirvana; throughout the past several months we have experienced an acute awareness of the personal impact when either are absent:

Rescue me before I fall into despair...

I'll send an iOS to the world...

hope that someone gets my message in a bottle...

seems I'm not alone at being alone... 

Adaptation, "Message in a Bottle" , The Police -- works for me, can you RELATE ?

I finish with three prompts, the answers of which might become your personal 'algorithm' for an upcoming therapeutic encounter, whether face-to-face or in more binary form:

1. Where do you seek trust and/or intimacy?

2. When and where in your life have you experienced at least one of these golden nuggets?

3. How can YOU be a source of trust and intimacy for others? (getting outside of yourself!)

I trust you will find this helpful.