Resolving...Part 2 - Defying the Odds, Getting Even

Odds Are:  Against you, apparently. That's probably what you concluded from the stats posted here a few days ago regarding the prognostications on behalf of those willing to make a New Years resolution. Not intended to give you indigestion nor discouragement this early in the year most of you hoped would bring better news and encouragement. Instead, the sobering statistics are intended as an early 2021 wakeup call. Similar to one you might receive from a financial adviser every so often, to make sure you are maintaining a realistic financial plan and associated habits, in order to reach your ultimate financial goals. Consistently, whether the focus is physical or fiscal health, a significant percentage of Americans' habits are out of alignment with their stated goals. I will give you some simple ways to both organize your goal setting (including new years resolutions) and strategies to be more successful, all within the space of one post -- 2020 hangover delusion, you say? Wanna bet?

Twosomes - May the Force...Regardless of the reason(s) people come to my office, whether it's due to an acute problem disrupting their life, or a growing desire to make an enduring life change, I am consistently influenced by two major 'forces': the belief that a vast majority of people want better for themselves and can in fact achieve this, tempered by the awareness that there are some people, that no matter how emphatic they initially stated their desire to change, given their minimal or complete lack of attempts to implement any strategies we have discussed to achieve this, are not willing to change. The reasons for the latter unfortunate state of affairs continues to be debated and studied in the field of psychology. My own version I usually share is that, while not a place of celebration or happiness, some people, despite all my efforts on their behalf, decide to stay in the 'place' they started in when we first met because it's what they know, it's familiar (similar to 'fear of change'). Not a profound interpretation but it seems to fit the underlying feelings that they can muster up when asked why they would not want to venture forth with more effort.

       The second 'twosome' that is highly relevant to both starting and quitting a habit is what we refer to in psychology as the two-process (sometimes referred to as two step) learning model. The instrumental parts of this research applied to making and keeping resolutions is that what starts a behavior or habit is not always what sustains it. Thus, when teens start smoking (or more recently, vaping), such as to to be part of the 'in' group, otherwise known as peer pressure, it is rarely what sustains it, which is more likely physical addiction. On the other hand, when people ask how long it is going to take to progress from "Do I have to go to the gym?" to "I really want to go to the gym!", I consistently answer is that it won't take three years nor three weeks, but more likely a matter of three to five months (many are reassured to find out that after many decades of neglect it's not going to take as many to reverse the trend, but it's not going to be an overnight sensation either). The awareness and application of the more specific components of this two-step process differs depending on the behavior and goal you are trying to achieve, but they are always relevant.

Threesomes - Building Blocks: Before or in the midst of considering another life change, it is instructive and in turn productive to first survey the three 'building blocks' of life, which consist of your eating/appetite patterns, sleep/wake cycle, and activity/energy patterns. I actually have three blocks on  my office desk to illustrate both the simplicity and essential nature of all three of these to your well-being -- when stacked on top of each other they form the foundation for any other type of improvements you might make, whereas when placed on end next to each other, they become dominoes, in that any one of them, if destabilized, can knock the others over. No matter what stage of life you are in (i.e. 2-82), these building blocks are where one should always start before considering any secondary or 'tertiary' changes. In doing so, you will ultimately find yourself at least indirectly addressing some of those habits you might have listed as worthy of resolutions (e.g., reducing or eliminating late night visual media not conducive to good sleep hygiene).

Engagements X 3: As a sort of parallel to the building blocks, regardless of what type of problem a person presents with in my office, a goal is to maximize the respective individual's level of: mental, physical, and social engagements. These are another simple way to categorize ways to enhance and sustain well-being, even under pandemic circumstances, and areas I deliberately inventory prior to someone launching into another area of life change (not to deter, but simply defer). An important area of common ground with the building blocks is that these are areas that we have the most control of in our lives and any improvement in any of the three types of engagements is guaranteed to be helpful 100% of the time, while not guaranteeing to help 100% of your problems.

Commitment to Change: For all of us, the commitment to change is an instrumental part of both stating and keeping a New Years resolution but simply reviewing and keeping the commitments you made the last six months should be enough, before new resolutions, new commitments. 

Coming soon - Part 3: Building, Stumbling Blocks