Resolving...Part 3: Building, Stumbling Blocks

       I resolve to only write on resolutions this third and final time -- that's it, I quit, I mean it this time...(this should be relatively easy to keep...). OK, so you've picked a new years resolution, or at least identified an area of opportunity to enhance your well-being throughout 2021 and beyond. Whether you already established an area mentioned in the last post as the 'building blocks of life' or the 'three engagements', as areas in your life that could use some tweaking. What are the essential ingredients for a successful resolution 'campaign'? Conversely, what are the most common pitfalls, the stumbling blocks on the road to success, to steer clear of? Some are obvious whereas others subtle and perhaps just outside our awareness. This, then, is an attempt to increase your awareness and sustain your vigilance regarding those to factor in and out of your recipe for resolutions.

Parallel Lines: Whether trying to enhance your physical or fiscal health, attempting to make improvements in your time or money management, I have come to view these as parallel lines or lanes in the freeway of life. That is, how one approaches one of these is more often reflected in how you manage the other important category as well. Thus, if you are the type of person who has been preparing for retirement well ahead of time, maxing out your contributions (building a brick house, from "The Three Little Pigs"), you are also likely to leave early for an appointment, to allow plenty of time "just in case". Conversely, minimizing the amounts you put away and instead spend for today ("may as well, you never know about tomorrow"), you are more likely to be the type that waits until the last minute to leave or do an assigned project ("I work best under pressure"), and literally try to make up for lost time when 'Murphy's law' takes over, finding yourself once again having to apologize for inconveniencing another when your 'house of straw' (or 'house of cards', a similar visual) is not sustainable in the face of the Big Bad Wolf...

Recipe for Success: The four ingredients most professionals as salient to success in realizing your goals (e.g. resolutions), whether in the field of psychology, financial planning, or personal fitness training, include the following (in no particular order): 

     S.O.S. - Seek out support that is, your support system to both encourage you and hold you accountable, which could be a workout buddy, co-workers who regularly ask you "how's that goal coming along?", to family members.

     What About Bob? "Baby steps, baby steps..." Recognizing that small steps and pacing realistically is more likely to meet your goals over a longer course ("The Tortoise and the Hare", reflected in marathon training by the emphasis on just gradually increasing the time when you are in motion and then gradually quickening your pace -- same thing with saving money, saving a little at a time but consistently and gradually increase amounts) 

     Make Your Bed: "Make Your Bed" became a title of not only the commencement speech he gave but the title of the book when the retired Navy SEAL William H. McRaven produced when his speech went viral. The book, which emphasized "Little Things That Can Change Your Life", illustrates how daily habits and routines become the building blocks for self-enhancement. So, be aware of the importance of incorporating your resolution into your daily routine somehow.  

     Tracking: By now you've acquired at least one fitness tracker or some such gadget -- use it! For fiscal planning, there are innumerable tools (many FREE!) to organize your finances and track your progress (including the process of watching the red ink turn a lighter shade of pink and eventually into positive territory) -- study after study has demonstrated how few people know the numbers on both sides of the ledger, even when/if they are in a favorable position. 

Stubbing Your Toe, Pitfalls: Or those you can stumble over on the way to success, thereby either complicating or ending your 'resolve' include:

       Lack of Support: Either not identifying or reminding your support system of the importance of them on your team

       Frustrated with Rate of Results/Effort Required: What were you thinking, that meaningful change  would be easy? It can be simple, but anything worth doing...as the saying goes...

       TIME! Saying you can't find time, but if it's a worthwhile change that will eventuate in well-being you make time.

       Denial: As you start experiencing difficulty it is highly common to start backing away from the goal   (a resolution, in this case), by minimizing its importance, forgetting how emphatic you were when you started -- lying first to the person in the mirror and then to those around you, but eventually your shadow catches up to you, in the form of a shadow of regret...we've all been there and you'd think we  would have learned...

So, that's it -- I'm done writing on resolutions for 2021 and so mine is already done; see how easy it can be?