Back by (un)Popular Demand: One more (actually three) more jabs at ANXIETY!

Calibrating, Vaccinating, Ceasing (?)...

Core Training: Among the five core feelings featured in "Inside Out', Fear (AKA Anxiety) continues to get the most play in my office, with Sad, Anger, and Joy competing for second, third, fourth place, and Disgust intermittently overtaking the others depending on what's in the news, and then falling off again. Yes, Anxiety, the leading candidate for coming out as the top vote getter for the category "Lead Character in the Pandemic of 2020-21", if there was such an award. In reality a lot of you, in contrast to what they do on "The Voice", would vote Anxiety off your team of emotions:

My receptionist, answering the phone any given day, 2020: "So, what seem to be bothering your son/daughter, that prompted you to call?"

Caller: "They're just on edge all the time, not themselves lately...with all the changes due to the pandemic, especially since they have had to do this online, virtual schooling...I've already had them checked out by their physician who said their stomach aches are probably due to stress in our home...to be truthful I've probably not been the best example as I've been pretty anxious myself, I'm just so wound up all the time; I should probably make an appointment for myself..."

Pretty good facsimile, the foregoing is. Typical of the calls we receive on behalf of all ages, throughout the ages, more so in the past year. These COVID circumstances have put Anxiety/Fear smack dab on center stage, as star of the show. So, do you consider the star to be a protagonist, antagonist, agonist, or...(?)

Three Working Models, Anxiety at Work: In psychotherapy "Cognitive Restructuring" which in turn incorporates "Reconstrual of Stimuli" essentially involves a rethinking or remodeling of previously held beliefs, attitudes, and/or concepts, some of which have proven to be unhelpful, even dysfunctional. I am offering you three different ways (or lenses, if you wish) in which to view this character, Anxiety, which in turn may eventuate in you being able to better 'harness' or direct the feelings that inevitably attend various experiences, which we once again have been experiencing at a higher frequency (and perhaps intensity) this past year. 

1. Calibration: Ring Your Bell, Ring Door Bell: If you haven't purchased/installed a "Ring Door Bell", you know someone who has. As part of this experience, it's likely that when you first installed it, every little sound (such as a passing car) came to your attention, at a frequency and volume that was initially fascinating, then annoying, and eventually even disruptive to your ADL's (Activities of Daily Living, stuff you gotta' get done).  What we can all agree on is that if you are going to err on one side, you'd rather have the thing pick up too much rather than too little, or for it to run out of power, to have it disconnect from the power source. Or else, why did you purchase it in the first place? (well, some of us got it as gifts the past few years). So, if you can 'construe' Anxiety in a similar way, the goal is not to switch it off (if this was in fact possible), but learn how to calibrate it. The way I train people to do this is simply to recognize the first signs/symptoms of Anxiety (some similar, some different for each of us), to think of it as natural, FREE! alert system like Ring Doorbell (aka vigilance), and reflect on whether there is something you need to attend to, that you have perhaps overlooked, something you should worry about. If not, visualize yourself going about your business like you would if you checked your front porch and looked around, to see all was safe and in the end being thankful someone purchased this new gizmo attached to your door...

2. Vaccination, Insulation: Or, simply a layer of protection, like a vaccination. Like the ones we have been so fervently waiting for since when this thing called COVID started invading our territory and some of our actual beings, which in turn struck terror, understandable degrees of Anxiety. Anxiety which at times became mobilizing and at others paralyzing, but collectively became a clarion call for the government, private industry (i.e., scientists, pharmaceutical companies), and the public to band together in first complying with the basic behaviors that kept CV-19 at a distance, until an effective vaccine could be brought to us from the inner sanctums of laboratories. So, Anxiety, when it calls us to arms, helps keep danger at a distance, and/or helps motivate us to prepare/defend is definitely our ally. It can certainly overstep its role or make too much noise, but its function as an insulator to danger and a voice that calls us to action should not be underappreciated. It's been around since we ran away from saber toothed tigers, and it is helping us now, even with an unseen enemy. Another example of 'insulation' in the form of worrying is parents, especially mothers: I have asked teens, in the midst of a tirade, "how long do you think your mother is going to worry about you?" After which they become quiet, if only for a brief period, realizing this miracle of sorts, being covered by their parents' concern, until they can no longer...The opposite is depicted by Alfred E. Neuman: "What, me worry?"

3. Cessation(?): As in "cease and desist'! As if you want Anxiety to just go away, leave you alone, not to come back again. As the media reflects, we live in a time where many people want to 'cancel' anything that makes them uncomfortable -- what started out as a noble cause is becoming a tsunami for anything and anybody that not only shows prejudice, but disagrees with you, the new status quo of sorts. But you, who wish to stamp out X, you better watch out because you could be next yourself--we have seen this before in history, anything taken too far, an overresponse to discomfort, overcompensation. Regarding Anxiety, the applications include not avoiding anything that makes you uncomfortable (I teach people to practice the 'no avoidance' rule, unless there is an actual danger, or else you simply get good at avoiding...we try to gradually expose you first in the office and then real life to the previously feared stimulus, to 'desensitize' you, which does NOT make you an insensitive person). If Anxiety is initially overwhelming to a degree one is debilitating (another saying in my office is that Anxiety can't kill you but can kill your joy, in which case it's a 'killjoy'), medication might be prescribed by a physician in conjunction with the foregoing therapeutic strategies, both in an attempt to help you harness, but not completely cancel your Anxiety, who will work for you if directed. 

So, there you have it, three different models to choose from, models that illustrate that Anxiety, while recently overplaying its role(s) at times, going off script in this play we find ourselves in, can be put back in its proper place...YOU are the director, after all.