Victimology: A Spectrum...Spectator to Hater (?)

"Were all in this together..." We have all been at different places on the spectrum or continuum of victimology, ranging from being a witness (whether we took action or remained passive), fallen victim to someone/something, or unwittingly (I hope) victimized another. Finally, we have had a range of both internal and external responses. A HUGE topic with HUGE implications in my field of psychology, the size and scope of which only permits me to skim the surface in this space, but in such a way that will allow you to reflect on the personal applications, then and now. I choose to do so in part because of the increase in frequency I have been hearing people feel like victims throughout the past year, no doubt tied to many challenging/unwelcome circumstances here and afar that we have been experiencing lately, many of which are beyond our control.

We've all been witness to it: As I was reminded this morning a few times listening to "World News", there are travesties of justice, "man acting inhumane against mankind" throughout the world this very minute. So we sure hear of it on a daily basis, if we haven't recently been eye witness to it. When we do witness or hear of it, what do we do? So many stories and experiments in group dynamics, some of which reflect favorably, others not so much, on our nature as humans, as humane. Just enough on this to stimulate your senses, sensibilities. I have shared here more than once that I start each day hoping to have the opportunity to make a difference, and the courage to act when/if such an opportunity occurs; be careful what we ask for, right?

Fallen Victim: As in "Over a half million people in the U.S. have fallen victim to COVID, have lost their lives..." We have all fallen victim at one time or another to circumstances out of our control and/or those we could not have foreseen, no matter how vigilant. On the other hand, there are times (honesty, humility called for here), where we are complicit in our roles as victims, either in our failure to 'read the fine print' (did you know that the FDA recently changed how calories, etc. are listed on food labels, to make more user friendly for us--I learned this from my "Costco Connection" magazine this morning) or otherwise a lack of due diligence in making a substantial purchase (does anyone remember when the "Speaker" said to Congress: "We have to pass the health care bill so that you can find out what is in it..."?) 'Caveat Emptor'! 

"I have met the enemy...Me, Myself, and I" AKA self punishment, self victimization. We can all be harder on ourselves than anyone else, complete with negative self talk, self loathing. But don't you dare say the same mean thing to me; I have the right of first refusal'! Some of this is learned behavior, from others victimizing us earlier, but carried forward on our own accord, uncalled for, probably to a degree of dysfunction, and we are the only ones that can put a stop to it. A statement I make at a high frequency in my office on your behalf: "Self deprecation serves no purpose; self correction does". 

Post Victimization, Recovery (?) We've all been mistreated by others at one time or another, sometimes to a degree we consider ourselves victims (this term has been so omnipresent lately I have grown concerned it has lost its meaning and impact, as many have become jaded, whereas other have overindulged). Assuming the mistreatment ends at some point, what happens after psychologically and behaviorally is instrumental to your life, your well-being. For example, for some people it becomes a learned cycle of being mistreated over and over again, almost in an attempt to "I'm going to get it right this time..." (e.g. repetitions of abusive/toxic relationships), while others develop a sense of learned helpless/powerlessness, which is almost synonymous with depression. Probably the most dangerous of outcomes is when an individual or group, either in the case of perceived persecution or experienced, uses it as 'weapon' to mistreat others--throughout history we have witnessed isolated and mass examples (e.g. genocides). When you are convinced you have been victimized one ugly outcome is you feel no compunction about mistreating others, including those who did no wrong, innocent bystanders, collateral damage--one does not have to look far in today's news or history for vivid examples. Luckily, a good percentage of people and/or groups who, partly through a process of enlightenment, fully 'recover' (sometimes referred to as resilience), even using their own experience of mistreatment as a rallying cry on behalf of others (see January 28th post).

We can all relate; where are you today on this spectrum and what can you do about it?