AOM, MOM: Know Your Rights, Stand Up

Age Of Majority, Rites, Rights: "Coming of age" is a term we hear frequently around here (not just in my office as a psychologist), referring to the gradual transition from childhood to adulthood.  When I entered the field of professional psychology, there were many popular ways to delineate the main developmental stages in our society which, for today's post, include those of adolescence (the stage of "identity"), young adulthood and (full) adulthood. It was early in my career that "young adulthood" started getting more press, due to some changes in our society, including more people delaying marriage until their later 20's, more living with their parents for many different reasons (not just 'basement dwellers'), and a few other educational/career trends. More recently, especially throughout the past year, there have been speculations abound regarding the developmental affects of the pandemic on 'this' generation of teens and young adults, how they have been missing out on some 'normal' rites of passage, and the effects on their eventual 'adulting'. This age group (which just about every reader has probably passed through) has never been shy about reminding us of their presumed rights, privileges, and issues of fairness--more often as they apply to themselves rather than on behalf of others, which happens gradually...

Taking Offense, Status: Starting way earlier in childhood, of course, parents hear the lament "IT'S NOT FAIR!" loud and clear, perhaps more lately as we seem to be in closer and more frequent proximity to our kids (of all ages), hearing this refrain so often we have learned to tune out--in psychology, the fancy term is "habituate" (sorry kids!). On the other hand, how many teens REALLY know the extent of their legal rights and those that are, on the other hand, illegal, only because of the STATUS of their age (no fault of their own)--thus, 'status offenses'. 'Offenses' such as: underage possession/consumption of alcohol/tobacco, curfew violations, and...truancy! (there used to be "truant officers" in the past, who went around and collected the wayward adolescents and took them straight to school, but lately people training for this position comes under cybersecurity, and the collection of such delinquents via autonomous vehicles, eventually drones..."bad boys, bad boys,...whatcha gonna do when they come for you...🎵). It is always interesting when I have a teen and his/her parents in my office and we launch into a conversation where we try to better inform him/her of their rights, which usually concludes with them asking what's for dinner...

Measures Of Maturity: "Be careful what you wish for..." Being treated as adults, that is, and being subjected to adult expectations, being measured by some standards, absolute expectations (not just those you aspire to). Marks and milestones such as:

-the ability to keep long-term commitments

-not over-reacting to either flattery or criticism

-making decisions based more on character and convictions rather than emotion

-ability to defer gratification

-prioritizing others before self (also mark of 'servant leadership')

-seeking wisdom before acting

So, still want to be treated as an adult? 

From You, Me, to U.S., Them: "Coming of age" as well as measures of maturity are routinely utilized when a commentator, historian, or journalist extend comparisons beyond individuals to groups, nations, and even globally to civilizations (e.g. "Born in war, Bangladesh marks 50 years of independence"...BBC: "Recent events in Washington, D.C. have raised the question whether the United States is in need of a constitutional makeover..."...Recent world news regarding more than one country: "How can such a civilized society treat its citizens this way...?").  So, where do you think you/we fall on such a scale? Be humble; always room for improvement.

Peaceful Protests, Recreational Rioting...Collision Courses: Throughout the last year, we have been hearing, seeing images depicting, and reading articles daily about specific rights of individuals as well as those that various groups hold fast to, especially in the context of the right to assemble for the purpose of 'civil disobedience' (aka 'peaceful protest')--the right to refrain from wearing a mask in public, the right to defer vaccinations (including for your children), police maltreatment of suspects, among others that have been recently most prominent around our nation. If you were to turn into other worldly news you would see many others that seem to have even more immediate and widespread life or death consequences. Nonetheless, the ones we have been primarily preoccupied with here at home illustrate the delicate balance between individual and group rights or, in other terms, how acting out on what you claim to be a right' may in turn trample (sometimes literally) on the rights of others. I have kept a keen eye on the 'camera angle' of those claiming rights, those complaining of their rights and/or property being trampled, burned, or destroyed, and those reporting on these 'incidents'. In the U.S., for example, we heard the term "peaceful protest" from one side of the political spectrum and "rioting" by the other, in more than one important context throughout the past year. Most recently, in covering the emergence of unrest in Northern Ireland associated with "Brexit", an area which had been in relative harmony after a protracted history of bloody conflict referred to as "The Troubles", I had to pause my workout for acute auditory processing when I heard the term "recreational rioting", depicting the participation of local teens in destruction of property, including setting things ablaze, as if they were just out on a Saturday night, looking for something to do...The final act, though, was an article about "...the play must go on...", an account of activist actors occupying three of France's national theatres in protest of the administration closing down such venues in response to the pandemic. And I thought I had seen and heard it all...

Standing Up: (Bob Marley reprise: "Get up: stand up, stand up for your rights...🎵...") Standing up for one's rights is highly familiar to us in our society. That is, by the time we are teens, while we might not have a full knowledge of the what the 'letter of the law' informs us, we certainly have a strong impression of what our entitlements SHOULD include. And those that apply to US versus others. In other words, a selfish versus 'selfless'  claim. Personally (no political alignment necessary here) I don't think an individual, group, or nation should ever apologize nor cease to stand up for their 'inherent' rights (we would not be here as a nation if hordes of colonists had not given up their lives, as I remind teens when they are rallying for some superficial right like keeping their phone in their room at night), but what about the times when we find ourselves capable of standing up for the rights of others, when they, themselves, are vulnerable (i.e., "the lesser of these...")--do we speak out as loudly? Collectively, the results from a huge volume of research in social psychology, in group dynamics, calls us out, informs us as individuals, groups, as a nation, and larger society, that we should continue to be both humble and vigilant. If, after reading this, you need any tangible proof, just go on any world news website to see how people are being treated, in draconian or otherwise barbaric manners (including the abuse of women and children), in places that seem to never have progressed from an uncivilized status, or those that have actually regressed (part of the reason we study history, so that we may "never, ever forget..."). I return to a recent post, a strong reminder of our individual and collective responsibilities, a quote from one of the athletes who was a victim of sexual abuse: "All we needed was just one ADULT to step up and..." Get up, stand up indeed.  

A  footnote; our youngest 'child' is 29 today, knocking on the door of full adulthood, no doubt....Happy Birthday Dear!