For GIVEN but...

       You know the old saying, "forgiven but not forgotten". All of us can relate to this from both sides: asking for and granting forgiveness, and hoping that another will forget our trespassing, while we have difficulty forgetting the wrongs others have done to us, even after we have openly (and internally) forgiven. Well, 'current' events of considerable magnitude (at least considerable to those directly affected) allow me to write about these powerful psychological constructs and associated interpersonal dynamics. While the frequency with which we encounter these matters of the heart and mind (e.g., "My heart forgives you but my mind remains vigilant") may trivialize the profound impact they have on our instrumental relationships, the impact on both parties goes way below the surface to a depth approaching...well, even the Suez Canal!

Grounded, then Impounded...Insult to Injury (?) The "Ever Given", the HUGE cargo ship that was stuck in the mud in the Suez Canal for several days at approximately a 45 degree angle, caused a HUGE traffic jam at both ends of the canal, eventually involving about four hundred 'vessels in waiting', whose cargo ranged from oil to all things Amazon. After finally being dislodged, it wasn't yet allowed to get under way, not until a full inspection of its seaworthiness was ensured...then, just when it thought it was in the clear, the Egyptian authorities have seized the ship, while it demands a HUGE payout, up to a reported 900 million in "damages" caused...let's see, 900 million divided among about 400 ships, or they all going to sue separately as well? And the "Ever Given" cries out, "Isn't this piling on; can't I get a little love?!" But wait, before you start feeling sorry for this gentle giant, have you had anything you'd been expecting, recently ordered, not arrive on time? All of a sudden, just like in real life, when YOU are the one being inconvenienced, you go from being sympathetic for the boy crying in court to finding out how you can be part of a class action suit...

Can't we just be Civil? In such suits as the one involving the "Ever Given", the monetary awards granted to a person or parties when they suffer loss due to wrongful or negligence of another party, can be "compensatory", "general", "punitive", or any combination. Depending on what side of the canal (aka court room) you find yourself, no matter what the amount is levied, you will likely find yourself thinking it's either excessive or insufficient...judges in such cases just can't seem to satisfy everyone, finding themselves asking "Can't I just get a little love here?!" 

Talk about Bitter..."...for now the ship is due to stay anchored in the Suez Canal's Great Bitter Lake for the foreseeable future..." Have you ever had a car impounded or, if not, at least seen an impound yard? Can you imagine the size of this one? Which reminds me (and you, if you are honest) of how, even after we have ostensibly forgiven someone, we can remain bitter, resentful for quite a while...a lot continues to go on below the surface and we, ourselves, have a lot of work to do or else we remain mired in our own mud...I've written here before about the illusion we can easily hang on to, the apparent leverage over another that being resentful and/or holding on to resentments seem to afford us, only to discover that resentments tend to rot the vessel within which they reside...

"Not so fast...Trust, but Verify..." After we are publicly forgiven by another for a transgression (e.g., an adolescent by their parent), we have to remember there may still be some work to do...to regain trust, that is...Teen: "but I thought you forgave me..." Parent: "Indeed I did, but trust is another matter..." Teen: "Great, I thought I said I was sorry..."). Forgiveness, accountability, trust...a current full of psychological dynamics...but think how, similar to a teen or ourselves, following the Given's payout to all those seeking damages and/or compensation, the next time it approaches a canal, the attitude of the respective canal authorities and other ship captains competing with the EG for a place in line...will anyone show charity? Before you vote "absolutely not, make the EG pay again by being last!" you may want to check it's hold, for it may be carrying your precious cargo...humility, always called for...

From a Bitter End to all Dammed up: "...and the Ever Given, after having its hull muddied and bloodied, after suffering public humiliation, finally is allowed to get under way and arrives in Rotterdam, in the Netherlands, the home to Europe's biggest port and the Ever Given's original destination..." Where it will be welcomed by...? OK, you finish the story with your own words. Perhaps punctuated by your own voyages of forgiveness, accountability, and trust...May we all be granted "calm seas and fair winds".