The New "Once in a Generation" Math

Head of the Class, Buy the Numbers: The president, leaders of Congress, and others involved in passing yet anther (wasn't the first) "stimulus rescue" plan, climbed all over each other in taking credit for this "once in a generation" colossal cash care package. Also referred to now (but not later, as I will explain) as the COVID-19 Stimulus Package, or the American Rescue Plan, the 'stimulus' bill, involving 1.9 trillion dollars, was passed by the 117th United States Congress (535 members) and signed into law by the 46th President of the United States on March 11, 2021...remember these numbers, commit them to memory, perhaps via a super duper lottery number...for these same members of Congress and others involved may, by future generations, not be viewed as the heads of the class, as geniuses, but something far less intelligent, at least in character. Let me illuminate some mathematical realities...some real math, some tangible numbers...

A Trillion Here, a Trillion There..."And pretty soon you're talking real money..."..."Aw, why don't we just round up to..."..."It's not nearly enough..."..."Pass this bill and we'll find out what's in it..."..."It's all relative; they'll be paying it off with tomorrow's dollars..." Common, casual, colloquial quotes when it comes to money talk, especially when it comes to spending someone else's cash. Another favorite of mine, attributed to former U.K. prime minister Margaret Thatcher: "The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money..." I wonder when she said this Maggie imagined what our current congress and president could in turn imagine with their 'new math' and new 3D printers, which can apparently print money about as fast as the national debt is accumulating, which will at some point have to be reckoned with by some future generation, the name of which can only be imagined by some new Greek letters. All of this collectively perplexed me when I got my first glimpse of what these 'leaders' were conjuring up, "on our behalf". It made me wonder how many involved really understood math, which made me in turn look up some real (versus imaginary, just wait) numbers, some branches of math, math education, as well as how many in D.C. understand arithmetic. All of this in just a few paragraphs to follow.

From Sputnik to Sputter to Stimulus: "How did we get here from there?!" will likely be among the laments from a generation way into the future, perhaps 'Gen I' for Infinity (an important math concept here)...wondering how an educated leadership and informed electorate could willingly collaborate on such a financial package that could wreak havoc for 1.9 trillion years to come..."Didn't they understand math like we do now, didn't they have addition and subtraction as part of their core curriculum...?" Which prompts a quick, brief walk down memory lane. Way before the so-called 'New Math' came into being, as part of President Eisenhower's 1958 National Defense Act, which poured money into our educational system (after which math education was to intentionally emphasize conceptual understanding of mathematics over rote memorization of arithmetic), which was in turn a defensive response to "Sputnik" (thus, aptly termed "Defense Act"), we had access to the abacus (an instrument for performing calculations which goes back as far as 2700-2300 B.C. and still in use in some parts of the world with which our education system is trying to catch up with, especially in math and science) and the slide rule (a 'mechanical' analog computer, which uses two logarithmic scales to allow rapid multiplication and division of numbers). But neither of these instruments nor those to follow could envision the rapid deployment of a 'new math' those in leadership seem to be employing, which allows them to avoid looking at the numbers. So, I looked at the numbers of congressional members et. al, their professional and academic backgrounds, as well as some of the real numbers involved, all of this on your and future generations 'behalf' (yes, I know, a blogger's work can be long and tedious)...

Back to the Future, Buy the Numbers: A simple math exercise I performed as part of prepping this post: I looked at the "World Debt Clock", in real time, and just chose a few numbers I thought you  might be interested in -- in the span of one minute (timed exactly, at least to the tenth of a second), the national debt increased by about $322,000, while the U.S. population ticked up by about 38 new potential taxpayers, and the "work force" about 91 (I say "about" because my eyes could hardly keep up with the count)...AND, at the very minute I glanced at these literally dizzying numbers (which will blitz you more than any array on the Wall Street trading floor, so be forewarned), the U.S. debt per person was $85,054 (I'm sure you've put this amount aside for such a purpose). So, don't these guys and gals have access to these numbers? What are they thinking?! Don't they get arithmetic?! Is it just me?! Oh, I now realize I've got it all wrong, I've misjudged all of these calculating minds, that they are actually math wizzes, if you just consider the following branches of math, their implications for the current calculus they seem to be utilizing to convince themselves and US! That all of this is not only OK, but represents fiscal salvation rather than financial calamity for the long term. Here's a few math concepts reimagined (apparently) by the current leaders:

-Imaginary Numbers - "...a complex number that can be written as a real number multiplied by the imaginary unit...by definition zero is considered both real and imaginary..." See the application here, or do you lack their imagination? Brilliant!

-Absolute Value - No such thing as negative here! essentially the distance you go from zero in either direction, and you simply remove the (-) sign...Brilliant once again!

-Exponents - as in "exponential", a concept with which our leaders have become financial experts...something that increases at an extremely rapid rate...like our national debt, like how much 'Monopoly' money they can print.

-Infinity - boundless, has no end...in mathematics may be referred to as a number but is not a real number, but is used to represent a value that is immeasurably large and cannot be assigned any kind of actual numerical value...represented by a symbol which basically makes one think "it starts where it ends..." It's as if "Buzz Lightyear" is in charge of leading this budget busting brigade...

Once Upon a Future Generation: So, if math proficiency is not the question, if those that envisioned this "stimulus package" did not lack the core curriculum or access to abacuses, slide rules, or calculators (what are those, the future will probably wonder?), did they instead actually lack ABSOLUTE VALUES themselves? Were they willing to stand up and BE COUNTED by future generations, or will they create yet another new type of math that allows their participation to be CANCELLED?! Which will likely compel them to resurrect, dust off, and don dunce hat(s) -- they're going to need a gazillion...