Cookie Crumbs...Talking about Diplomacy, Talks: Home and Abroad

Leaving a trail, tail wind: like those that follow you on Google, the cookie trail today goes back to April 25th, a post about various approaches to diplomacy, primarily of a domestic nature, and generally on the lighter side. But events from the past few weeks compel me to elaborate on both the 'art' and 'science' of diplomacy, this time more on an international level, ranging from ongoing 'vaccinal' diplomacy, to more recent intense efforts to gain a cease fire in the Middle East, where warring factions who had been relatively calm heated up, resulting in the loss of many lives, disruption in commerce, and destruction of both property and a tenuous trust. As I categorize the dimensions and types of diplomacy, hopefully you can all associate with your own opportunities and attempts to mediate various conflicts. I also offer analogues to my daily practice for illustration and reflection. Admittedly, while I intend on covering some important points of interest, this hardly scratches the surface of the topic of  diplomacy, past and current, foreign and domestic (including your own home)

Arranging the table, terms of engagement, virtually: Historically, great care and deliberation has been spent on just how to arrange a table for diplomatic or peace talks. In the past, before Zoom and other formats, you could hardly gain a peace, truce, or successful negotiation without having 'talks' and you could hardly have talks without a table. Simple enough, eh? Well, just read through a history of the peace talks throughout the Vietnam War as just one example of both the art and science of the design of tables, as well as how to arrange it. For those of you who have found yourselves novice wedding planners, you know how much sleep you lost wracking your brains to facilitate such a process, keeping the most happy and those who might end up in conflict at a distance...and then, just as your well laid plans were almost completed, you started getting RSVP's...back to the drawing board. Now you know how those in the diplomatic corps charged with such an important task go through. The general agreement is to have round tables, but this hardly touches who (which heads of state, in this context) should sit next to across from one another...In my rather cozy office there aren't many options, but I actually do plan this out ahead of time, depending on the goal (which frequently gets preempted by one or another person not getting my subtle hint where they might want to sit). The main point that appeals to most of your intuitions, is that arranging the physical set-up can either enhance or detract from such a delicate and potentially historical event. And now comes Zoom and it's counterparts, how does one arrange the 'composite' for the most effect?

Coming to the table, readiness, inter'seeding': While you might argue this precedes arranging the table, sometimes you have to compel people, representatives to come to a table by demonstrating how much care you are putting into an event. Sometimes the other way around. Many times concurrent. Sowing the seeds for a successful diplomatic event, intervention, peace talk (whether internationally or in your own life) can take a great deal of preparation, posturing, and strategy. Harken back to the 'shuttle diplomacy' of Henry Kissinger in the Middle East and you'll see where 'frequent flyer miles' may have originated. By the time many successful talks are held, while those in attendance get a lot of credit, there are a host of hosts who have done a lot of heavy lifting to simply get everyone to the table.

Walking away...abruptly, gracefully...Just as accounts of talks have covered the challenges of getting the principals to literally sit down together, there are dramatic accounts of those who have pushed away from the table, not at a planned break. Not unlike when you are at the dinner table, this might be done strategically, even calculated, for effect (so that, while it might look abrupt...), whereas others it is more reactive. The most desired end or pause of a talk is to have most attendees leave together, either shaking hands or demonstration of success with a friendly wave for all the paparazzi. In my office, I try (sometimes to no avail, if someone is determined to sustain conflict) to plan out 'graceful' exit plans, for opportunities to highlight progress at the end of every session, to reinforce those in attendance so they may be inclined to reconvene...

Stepping lightly, do no harm: As a crude analogy, before I agree to arrange a formal meeting, in response to family members bringing up various issues they want to address collectively, or attorneys/courts request my mediation, I have to always remind myself that I am being allowed into the intimacies of a family system, which has a certain equilibrium which, to others may seem dysfunctional. But it is my first goal and obligation, to not make things worse, to 'first do no harm' ("primum non nocere"). Our field as well as diplomatic corps at large have been guilty on occasion of assuming we know what's best for others, to rush in with zeal, only to screw things up and walk away -- sometimes even feeling virtuous when we have left a mess behind, as we don't always look in the rear view...

Up close, but nothing personal: The 'art' and the 'science' of diplomacy, of forming diplomatic relationships, is to gain a sufficient amount of trust from all the parties (more recently, popularly now referred to as 'stakeholders'), while not aligning oneself too personally with one side. Being invested while impartial, impersonal -- relentless in pursuit of a solution that can satisfy the interests of all, while also being dispassionate. Admittedly a tall order, a delicate balance --another ways to view this process is actually walking a balance beam, one that can get wider or narrower depending on one's success in engaging the parties involved, gaining trust, and sustaining engagement between them even after you are no longer present (a recent headline characterized President Biden as "walking a tightrope" on behalf of the primary interests in the Middle East cease fire negotiations). Which is in turn a balance between empirically based studies in establishing diplomatic relationships (e.g. courses in "Foreign Relations") and the accumulation of experience (which can give rise, leave room for your own personal style, the 'art' part).

"Talk like an Egyptian", Chat Rooms: One never knows who among us might be in a position to intercede on behalf of another. Case in point, counterintuitive to those of us among the 'unwashed', less informed of the history and complexities of Middle East history, culture, subcultures, and political dynamics -- while the United States sent our Secretary of State to promote a cease fire between the Israelis and Palestinians, Egyptian mediators had already been laboring in between these two adversaries (BTW do you see the irony in the name of our SOS, who is frequently sent to get parties to back off from a confrontation, a face off where neither party wants to be the first to 'blink'?). Meanwhile, another unexpected source of hope, a promising trend has been found in another crowded place in the region, in the small space of a chat room -- namely, the "Meet Palestinians and Israelis" on the Clubhouse app...a place where a couple hundred thousand had cycled through to talk to one another without the assistance of a third party, in "...turning down the temperature..." 

Speaking of temps...a cold reception: About thirty years since the "Cold War" between the Soviet Union and USA and its allies was officially declared completely thawed, we find ourselves steeped once again in a chilly place with the main player of the former Soviet Union, the Russians, this time in Iceland, where our diplomats (including Mr. Blinken again, who is obviously trying to eclipse Kissinger as a frequent flyer) met with those from Russia regarding the latter's recent increased visibility and tacit attempts to exert its presence in the Arctic Circle, an area of acute interest to both parties. Stay tuned...

Diplomatic nightmare or job security? This just in, from the Washington Post, as I myself post: "Secretary of State Blinken seeks to bolster Hamas-Israeli truce, but long term prospects remain bleak" I don't know who and where the Post sources are, but we all hope and pray they are wrong, that this truce holds and allows for all interested parties to live together in at least semi-harmony. Closer to home, may we all be prepared to step in and intercede on behalf of another and, if we do, may we do so by stepping carefully, with grace and wisdom, a wisdom  cultivated by experience, humility, and relentless dedication to conciliation.