"You can't make Me; You can't stop Me!" An Age of Independence..."Make good choices!"

A HUGE Psychological Step..."Be careful what you wish for..."  

It's about time, 'Exit Us': While I already wrote to you about the general idea of reaching the "Age of Majority" and its strong connection to "Measures of Maturity" (see April 10th), on the eve (morning where I sit relative to the rising sun) of our collective Independence Day, I felt it timely to once again to at least briefly touch on the key concepts of both individual and collective independence that we will be celebrating in whatever style suits us, "thank you very much", tomorrow, but how many of us will actually take time out and appreciate what it took to get here...what sacrifices were made hundreds of years ago now, to make an exodus from the 'protection' of the king after already making a HUGE voyage across a GREAT expanse...a brand new journey to a brand new freedom that most early pilgrims probably did not anticipate--can you imagine how many colonists, when being coerced into action pled "I was just getting settled...literally!" Yes, the idea of vying for independence, while initially compelling, can be quite unsettling.

"YOU can't..." - Colonial to Colloquial: The "YOU" back then, when colonialists, after a protracted period of being loyal, after 'enjoying' certain protections, referred to The Crown, the king, specifically George the 3rd, his wife, Queen Charlotte, and the rest of the Royals. My version of Revolution Lite has the these surrogate parents of the colonialists, while already far removed, engaged in first casual, then heated conversation..."These ungrateful brats, don't they know what we've done for them...next thing you know they'll start polluting their own harbors with English tea and such...next thing you know they'll reject all out values and teachings...it's like they're rebelling...better be careful, next thing you know, we'll have a major revolt, a REVOLUTION on our hands...hand me the remote, would you please...?!" In my office throughout the past four decades, in a somewhat parallel fashion, I have been first hand witness to a legion of preteens and adolescents declare their own independence in the two seemingly simple statements captioned above...statements usually made defensively, when aggrieved, when being told "No" or "You must..." by their parents...in response, declaring their intent to not be coerced, their intent to refuse cooperation..."I'm...going to E-MANCIPATE!" Well, what can we expect these days, that "THEY" would even know how to correctly spell any word starting with E, the definition of "Emancipate", let alone the full implications, ramifications of declaring INDEPENDENCE...

Choosing Time and Place, the Expressway to...Freedom: Over time, after being taught how to engage recalcitrant teens through formal graduate level instruction to 'reconstrue stimuli' (an attempt to shift their thinking about the locus of their control, a fancy, psycho-babble way to say 'brainwash') I arrived at a much more practical, occasionally even productive way to engage them: First, by asking them "If I offered to put a billboard on the expressway announcing that nobody could make you and/or stop you, how long and how many people would you need to read this before you would be satisfied you've made your point...?" and second, by a brief walk down memory lane, reminding them that our country and our ability to have the conversation we are having would not be possible without REBELLION, the kind that led to a massive sacrifice, the kind that led to a woman's refusal to sit in the back of a bus due to pigmentation, to...? "So, do you think what you're railing against amounts to this type of importance and, when the time comes when you are actually called upon for such an act, will you be ready, will you have the courage to step up...?" Usually changes the tone of conversation, if only for a brief period...

Making Choices, Forward Thinking: Being 'independent thinkers' is an attribute we all presumably strive for no matter what our age, through the ages. As individuals, communities, and a nation, we are reminded today, tomorrow, and the days to come, that the FREEDOMS we now enjoy were NOT FREE. Take time out from, in the midst of celebrating, to think about it...

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, I dare to declare!