Itinerant Identity: Terms of Engagement - Part 2

       As I've already said, we've all been in on this, even while we were quarantining, sheltering in place, during which time we were nevertheless at least planning for departure and/or arrival, even it was within our home, which also served as a school, an office, a ???, to arrive at a Zoom or Webex  meeting on time, or surreptitiously turn off the camera and either go out for a breath of fresh air, go to the 'cafeteria' (aka kitchen) and get a quick bite, or ??? Changing directions, rooms, seats, hats...sometimes felt like we went through a portal, may just as well have had a turnstile (like in the subway) in our own home, dropped a token for every time we entered or exited...or perhaps a revolving door, to remind us of each transition, having gone from one area of the office building (or school) to another, including the restroom...

Know Thyself: Even during these times the way in which you and I approached and withdrew from these various engagements revealed dimensions of our personalities, our idiosyncratic ways in which we manage entrances, exits. That is, there are measurable differences in how we both prep for, attend, and depart from various functions, whether of a discretionary or obligatory nature. These transitions IN and OUT reflect part of the personality traits with which you have been 'gifted', which can in turn be modified, if necessary, if you find your predispositions in this context are not working out so well, putting others off, getting you docked in pay or, in the case of younger students..."Time Out!" In any case, we can all learn to do this better, whether the goal is to improve our "Time Management" (think about how many articles you've seen about this, especially throughout the last year or so), to decrease your "Social Anxiety" (another hot topic as we prepare to be more engaged after several months of being less so), or a simple act of placating other (e.g., being more courteous about being on time..."you're late....once again!"), it's all about how we:

Prep: Whether you are about to attend a Zoom meeting, a "Back-to-School Meet and Greet", a job interview, or a more casual barbecue with friends, do you fret about what to wear, what to bring, what to say, even over-rehearse to the point of 'analysis paralysis'? Or, do you represent the other end of this category, just 'go with the flow', be spontaneous, extemporaneous, to such a degree of being ill-prepared or chronically late? Most of us probably fall somewhere in between...

Arrive/Enter: Following whatever prepping you have bothered to do, when you arrive at your destination (even if only in the next room at your home office), do you make a Grand Entrance! as if you own the room (well, if at home, you probably do, at least technically) -- think Bill Clinton, "The Donald", so many others who 'seek the limelight' -- we all know them, can't help it even if we try...or are you more reserved, entering with a degree of stealth, getting the 'lay of the land' (almost ninja like) prior to formally engaging, gradually making your way around the (Zoom) room...we might not readily think of such individuals, know them so well, maybe even by design...

Depart/Exit: When you leave do you, in a similar manner you did when you arrived here (common parallel in my vast professional and personal experience), make everyone aware you about to leave their midst, whether through some strong salutatory, ingratiating, comments ("This was the BEST...we've got to this again...I'll have my people contact your people..."), all of which are designed once again to "Look at me!" or, do you just sort of quietly vanish like a 'thief in the night', not even addressing the host(s)...

       All of the foregoing categories offer us all a way in which to increase our personal awareness of how we approach this whole area of Terms of Engagement as well as opportunities to improve one or more of the three subcategories, areas that I in turn find myself engaging with you each day which, at first glance, seem a bit trivial, but end up, according to your many testimonies, enriching your general experiences forward. So, next I will share some stuff I never learned from textbooks, but from each of you, strategies for engaging life on your OWN TERMS!