The Ins and Outs of Your Ins and Outs: Terms of Engagement(s) - Part 4

It's Personal:  I'll say it one more time, here and now...we all have our own preferences as well as personal styles of how we approach and leave various engagements, whether those of which we have little choice, reluctantly volunteered (perhaps coerced by spouse as in military style -- "You don't have to like it; just do it!"), or completely and freely our choice, highly endorsed. How we engage, disengage. In order to add any value to how you do this each and every day, I already had you do a personal inventory of traits, reflected by hundreds, thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of accumulated engagements. Now, I seek to engage your imagination, just prior to specific strategic recommendations. So, just for a few moments, imagine (as in role playing, otherwise referred to as visualization to desensitize, otherwise referred to as dress rehearsal, otherwise referred to as visual simulation, otherwise referred to as pregame...in any case, please play along as these exercises are always helpful, but not sufficient, not a replacement for real engagement):

Imagine: You are hosting a dinner party or similar function, where you anticipate a fairly large group or folks (say 20, sounds like a good round number, so no one needs to be 'odd man out'), many of whom don't know each other...how will you seat them, COVID or no COVID, how will you greet them, how will you get them to engage with one another, how will you get them to disengage, depart at a reasonable hour?

Now, Imagine: You are attending the referenced party, where you are looking forward to seeing the host(s) but at the same time semi-nervous, not real excited about the prospect of being seated next to someone you've not met...you anticipate (at least you should, for effective rehearsal): "So what do you do? (code in our society for "what is your job or, if not employed, what do you do to be productive?")..."So what exactly do you do"? (a frequent follow-up question regarding what do you do during your off work hours, your past-times, your passions, which might allow them a window into your personality)..."So now, tell me about yourself" (what are you really all about beyond the surface stuff?) Worth rehearsing but not to the point of seeming as if you did, need to at least sound spontaneous...

Now, Imagine: You're going on a job interview and have done at least some cursory research regarding both the position and the respective organization, maybe even some Intel on the person(s) likely to interview you. Beyond getting grilled on your resume/CV, trying to anticipate via your own 'devil's advocate' who has willingly prepared you, you will still have to be prepared to speak extemporaneously, in which case it's good to have some rehearsed strategies (like a good politician preparing for a debate) how, if you don't like the question or feeling clueless, subtly reword it or change it to one you want to answer, to something of which you are more an authority...at least show them you know something...and ask yourself ahead of time, how you will engage (them) in such a way it forces them to know your traits that set you apart...what questions might you ask that not only reflect your due diligence, but leave them saying "Now that's an interesting question..."

Now, Imagine (a day or two late but still timely): You are the parent of a school age child, prepping to go back to school...IN PERSON! Regardless of the school's pandemic protocol, how will you in turn rehearse with your child(ren). model how to engage their teacher(s) and peers, especially after such a prolonged period of minimal direct contact outside of video engagements (gaming, friend groups, etc.)...what specific strategies for starting, sustaining, and gracefully ending conversations (spoiler alert: foreshadowing of next post) can you put in their backpacks along with the sundry school supplies being required these days...

Now, Imagine (it's personal): You are a psychologist prepping to go to the waiting room to meet (you?) for the first time, or prepping to have an effective phone/zoom call...as in "5 tips for a great call" by the authors of the "doxy.me" telemedicine platform...even us seasoned psychologists who engage all day long benefit from suggestions, rehearsals...

Or, Imagine: A scenario that better fits your own reality, upcoming engagements which prompt such rehearsals (as well as re-enactments, post-game analysis, replays -- another spoiler alert)...

Next: Value Added