Generally Speaking, How to be Heard. "Use Your Words" - Part 1

"Ladies and Gentlemen..." Now that I have your attention, in the age-old, time-tested, approach to starting an address, a conversation, in this case a monologue, regarding the power of language, the importance of "watching your language", in order to get a point across, or to elicit cooperation, to lead, have IMPACT! Are you hearing me OK so far?! Good, I got your attention, so I can begin in earnest, lead with my strongest convictions on this subject -- I've shared with you before the importance of "not leading with your left (fist) or your right, but your convictions", if you want others to follow. Knowing this space approximates that of a short presentation that you might be "invited" to as a break from the boredom of your cubicle, only to be sent back about a half hour later, initially infused with a burst of enthusiasm, which you find waning shortly after...I intend 'speak' to you about a few key ideas that, if recalled, practiced, and utilized 'in vivo' (as in "we are shooting live now!") will make you a more effective speaker, get you heard (ensuring compliance is another matter, for another day).

Having Your Voice, 3 Parts Harmony (?): It remains a conviction of mine, from vast experience and taking the lead from those who study voice/language for a living -- speech and language pathologists, who have taught me that not only should we appreciate the value of "speech" and "language" in their own rights (as well as disorders involving both, which would require an elaboration way beyond this space and your attention spans), together with those schooled in "communication" (including public speaking, various types of interactions, even "diplomacy"), that our own voice, whether we hear it internally or others aloud, has three distinct qualities that make it all our own that come to be associated with YOU, each of which has IMPACT! on those to whom we are speaking. These include volume ("speak up!", "turn it down a notch, I can't think clearly when you're yelling at me") which, when used effectively, up or down deliberately, can get points across more effectively. Once appreciated, can be practiced easily, even while driving by yourself; tone (DUH! Get it?!) Yep, we know it's often not what we say but the tone with which we deliver it, as in well- or ill- timed SARCASM 😆😠. We ALL do it, may as well practice it, learn when, where, and with whom it's most effective. Like learning how to be a good "class clown"; and cadence which, in my world, involves a combination of voice inflection and rhythm (I include speed here as well just for convenience, to avoid having to discuss a fourth element) -- too fast, too slow, both can be an issue...when speakers are getting anxious they tend to speak 'fast and furious' , even tripping over their own words, whereas too slow and the audience may start 'trippin' on their own: "...anyone...anyone...Bueller?" (if you don't get this, check out "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" out takes and you'll see why this has become a meme😔) 

Regrettable Rhetoric vs. Lost Oppos: While obvious to all in my audience, that it's an enlightened speaker who not only "uses" but also "chooses" their words, such as in "Wordly Wise" (a common exercise in middle school language arts which, if done often enough, might even make us into a "wordsmith"😊). Rehearsing if only for a moment or two before "opening mouth, inserting foot". We've all had our share of mishaps, missteps, saying something we'd like to take back. Luckily, with the advent of text language, we can always add "LOL" or "JK" as an afterthought...even out loud, but if you get into a habit of doing so, don't expect your listeners, audience to take you seriously. In other words, in a time-tested saying, "don't wear it out!" Then there are those occasional times where you wish you could bring back time, rewind, as you missed a 'golden opportunity' to have IMPACT! or express yourself, "speak up!" to, or on behalf of, another, who may no longer be accessible. Regrettable. Speaking of speaking up, assuming an opportune moment or a captive audience, the effectiveness of any message also depends on...

Brevity, Longevity: The long and the short of it, the main message. Too long and you lose your audience, too short when clarifications, qualifications, elaborations called for (short of obfuscations) and you might lack clarity, context (as a reporter asked the President the other day, after he responded with a simple "yes and yes" to a two part question, "Care to elaborate Mr. President...?" 😕). Always good to weigh the respective value of both, assuming you are not pressed for time, unless you are having to speak extemporaneously (just wanted to use this word, found the right context). And, if you are in a heated debate, need to stall a bit, gather your thoughts, you can always, as one of the earlier debating Presidents taught us, "rephrase the question into something you know something about, or prefer to talk about". Always good to have a few of these 'aces up your sleeve'. As I've shared with you before, it's also a good idea to rehearse a graceful exit from a convo, especially if it's with a 'hostile audience'. And, oh, look at the time, I almost have to send you back to your cubicles, so I'll just share this parting thought, the one that may actually follow you back to your computer station...

Interest Pays Dividends: Showing interest in others rather than going on about yourself always pays off, including if you are trying to 'take the heat off yourself'. When I enter the (zoom?) waiting room in anticipation of meeting someone the first time, I am confident that we can have a decent conversation, that will eventually lead somewhere beneficial for them...it is noteworthy that by the time the convo wraps up, when I give them the opportunity to ask questions about ME, there are either few or none -- they have already learned I can engage them in a way that may serve them, which is all they seem to need for now. This even works in employment interviews, where the candidate comes prepped with questions about the organization or even the role(s) of the interviewer (the latter can be a bit tricky, delicate, and takes practice, finesse). When speaking to a larger audience "showing interest" is reflected in part by how you have profiled them ahead of time, tailored your talk accordingly (including jokes! for the comedians among us).

Enough for now, running out of space and time...and your attention span. "Do I need to repeat myself for... anyone...anyone...?"