Speaking of Clandestine Communication: Face It; UR Exposed. (Part 1, Ob-Scene 1&2)

A Mini-Series within a Serious Series of Talks

Walk, Talk, In Brief: Because that's all we can stand, put up with, these daze: sound bytes, news in brief, taking in messages and photoshops/ops...bombs! All of which have been reduced to the barest number of symbols, pics to get their point across, and when it's U, when you, yourself are putting 'it' out there, using the fewest characters, you may, if not careful, if in a rush, may reveal your own character, your SELFIE. Before a fuller explanation of what brought U/ME to this moment in time ("University President fired for..."), allow me, in this brief time and space, but one which allows for sufficient explication, justification for your visitation, so as to avoid self-extirpation. The broadest of reveries found in two brief convos.

Pre-Net, Inter-Nana: About 15 years into my career as a psychologist, one where I found myself increasingly, by request and demand, in the midst of convos with parents regarding the rise of the computer age, communicating about tools of communication, I found myself turning to one of my fonts of info, more importantly of wisdom, known to our family as "Nana", a woman slight in stature but who grew to great heights in my esteem. A child of the Great Depression, never having the oppo to go to college, but who made the most of the college of lifelong learning -- reading, listening, observing incessantly. And, the part of her character which for me became her "Hallmark", always showing interest in others. In a dinner table conversation I casually asked her whether "the kids of today" had it easier than when she grew up during the depression, what I thought was a 'softball', but one she hit out of the park (typical Nana): "Oh honey, the kids of today have it so hard...they have so much information and choices coming at them so fast...when we grew up we at least had dinner together and, while we might not have agreed, we at least listened to each other... today, they seem like in such a hurry..." I still remember this conversation well, revered reverie, resonance which in turn prompted me, some years later, when the internet actually arrived in full, to try my best to put out a few words to parents that Nana would approve of, in a "Parenting Pointes" column regarding the value of interacting with their children but, more importantly, attending to how their children were interacting, as in:

P VS. P: Or, more fully stated, "Public versus Private" A letter to all parents, all adults who may find themselves guiding children, all users. All inclusive NET-minders. An attempt to raise awareness that, in this brave new age, that of the NET, in order to create a strong safety net for their juveniles, they needed to first appreciate the transformation that had already taken place right in front of their eyes but also behind the scenes, one which was certainly unforeseen, following an age where everything we viewed on the living room TV (sans remote), who we talked with on the kitchen wall phone (add extension chord in high school, semi-privacy), and what blasted form the stereo, was all public in nature, like it or "NOT". Now (I remind you this column was written about 15 years ago itself), unless parents made it otherwise, it had all become private. Clandestine. Setting the stage for convo #2 (ob-scene 2), about 10 years on...

Broadly Stated: In the comfort and safety of my office, this time over coffee, in the midst of a conversation with another grown-up whose intelligence and wit I already admired, found himself mired, as in a heap of trouble with his significant other, for his preoccupation with stuff on the internet irrelevant to his occupation, what he pre-emptively pointed out was not "stuff I should occupy space in my head, my headspace". Inquisitively, as if I were in a conversation with Nana, "What gives, why do you think we are seeing so much more...?" To wit, he replied, one delivered at once blithely and wisely, "Broadband". Given what must have been a confounded look on my part (sans mask), he offered, "Once you click on the mouse, you see how fast and how broad information you can acquire, which becomes difficult to navigate at times..." And so it goes. 

Next UP: as part of this series within a series: Modern Warfare; UR what U-IS; Firewalls, UR Fired!