Roblox, Road Blocks - Constructionists or Obstructionists? A-Parently, A-Parently NOT!

Stable-sizing, Through the ages: "It's always been this way..." Which is how our professor began his lecture to us on the art and science of parenting, the incredibly important process, one that starts out at conception, continues with early construction, as in building a bond of trust as well as providing an environment that maximizes the early/critical stages of healthy body and mind development, and proceeds until the infant-child-teen-young adult is "fully grown"😌. When the latter really comes to fruition (especially for US guys) is still a topic of heated debate as well as humor. Along the way, while parents' role in the 'construction' is obvious, we also find ourselves having to be, "like it or not kids" obstructionists, obstructionistic ("You're always interfering, why don't you just leave me alone...?!"). That is, we are the first as well as the last line of defense between our youngsters and what lurks beyond the front door (or the one behind our back, as children, as they become older, try to slip out and back, unnoticed). "Your role in teaching parents..." Our professor went on, "is, in the absence of a handbook (job security, he told us), to provide them with some models for when and just how much limits to put on children, to allow them the freedom to grow and explore the environment, make mistakes, while not getting lost, hurt, or become prey...it's like building a stable...bring the border in too close and the animals will be tempted, compelled to jump over...too far out and they could become prey for the wolves and other predators...all the while, praying for them..." Nice, metaphorical, poetic almost. Sounds easy, eh? If only he ("The professor") could have also been a sage, as in anticipating what was to come as challenges for US and for the parents we were to guide as constructionists, obstructionists: while the early stages of parenting and helping their child through their own stages was relatively uncomplicated -- while no handbook was available, as the metaphor implied, all they/WE really needed for tools came in the form of a hammer ("putting down the hammer!") and nails (as in "you're nailed!" or "here's how to nail down an argument...")...then came high tech, the internet, and things really took off; the foregoing tools antiquated, the metaphor of "stable makers" also fell into antiquity, and the messaging evolved into questions, that were designed to attack their sensibilities as well as awaken their senses (as well as keep them awake at night)...where the talks about "all walks of life" segued into a different metaphorical application as to how best to "surf!"! 

Messaging, to parents: "Your job, assuming you accept it... (if you are reading this you have either experienced this as one or the 'other', i.e., the product of parenting), is to nurture, protect, model, run interference (first when they are approaching the curb of a street, then later other ominous encounters), create a safe haven, and maintaining a presence, even/especially when they/you are the least inclined ("get out of my room!"..."get out of my face, go to you room and don't come out until you're...")..." Otherwise, known here as establishing and maintaining a balance between constructing and obstructing. Between, on the one hand, building strong bodies and minds, the security of family from which to venture out and engage the community (yes, even during the last two years) and, on the other, creating a boundary between them (whether you have an 'only' or collection of youngsters) and 'Them', the gradually increasing numbers of situations, unsavory individuals ("they're a bad influence on you, I don't want you hanging around...why can't you be friends with...") they may (will!) encounter on the way to being fully grown....mature! When the latter happens was an enjoyable topic of animated discussion in our grad seminars and continues to be one that heats up my office, 'naturally', between parents and couples alike. The message continues..."And your job, if you haven't figured it out yet, your job as a parent is never quite done...and if you, after listening to this tape, decide to take this on, then..." 

Mission Impossible?! Well...assuming you are reading this, have spent the sweat and equity, or are the product of such, you may as well come back for the next stage of this mission...don't destroy the tape just yet, nor lose the password to this blog, for the next post...