Re: Venge-Full, In Spite of Myself: Taking Inventory...

       from Afflict to Inflict, deflect...defects.

A Big Step: One we should all take, while in a state of feeling "resentful!", bitterness, otherwise prepping to "get them back" for what they did to me...whether it was a sibling just a minute ago, or a wrongdoing ages ago..."while I still can!" While I've written about this here before, I return in this Re: series prompted a recently high frequency of worldly as well as very localized, personally experienced (as in my office) situations whereby individuals and groups, while feeling wronged, "righteous", prepping to seek revenge, avenge a wrong...Before doing so, both (you and the 'other') would be well-served, even if not formally "in recovery" (such as in 12 Step programs), to at least consider either stepping forward or back, depending on where you are at, to what's frequently referred to as "Step 4": Taking a Moral Inventory, in the midst of, otherwise living in a state of...

Humili-nation, Flag-ration: stepping forward and back, in time...regressions, digressions...progressions, depending...I have come, in my own professional and personal life, to embrace the construct and practice of humility as being a critical stepping stone, foundational, aspirational, in anyone's process of recovery (regardless of whether you are the one who has been hurt or you are putting the hurt on another), as well as general well-being, and for anyone who has the intention, opportunity to lead. In other word(s), being HUMBLE ("I am humbled by your vote" -- what used to be a curious statement for me from someone who just won by a landslide, until I realized the full measure of what being humble meant, the practice and application of humility). Our nation has been characterized, criticized, castigated by those of U.S. internally as well as our watchers, by the quickness and harshness with which we judge each other, via gestures, words, 'dis'deeds...depending on the other's views and/or way-of-life in the context of the hot button issues du jour, at least the ones the get you hot under the collar ("they know the buttons to push!", a common sib complaint). Probably fueled, inflamed, 'dis'couraged by current tech, (anti)social media, the ease with which we can deliver inflammatory, defamatory remarks, the intent of which is to result in a state of 'defanatory' (loss of fans, my made-up word, but you can use it without my written permission😀😠), which used to at least require facing off, or a more volitional stroke of a pen, a keystroke...

Apportionment, 'Dis'proportionate: Even if we, ourselves, are not guilty of an "instigation penalty" in any setting (e.g., hockey, "futbol", the so-called "family room" of your house), we may find ourselves quick to assign blame (i.e., "apportion") or respond, (over)react, as in 'dis'proportionate, even 'scorched earth' approach to aggrieving when you feel you have been victimized, by another, filing a grievance; lots of collateral damage but "who cares?!" This, even after we, about six months ago, vowed, "resolved" to restrain ourselves and/or practice more humility throughout the "New Year". Luckily, we as a nation, and increasingly world over, if we find ourselves digressing, regressing from this Step forward in our life, can, once again return to a better state of mind...rewind...enjoy...celebrate...

"Christmas in July!" And so here we are, a place where we can either 're-gift' (one of my favorite "Seinfeld" episodes) or uplift each other, via taking inventory, not only of the long list of resentments and wrongs done to us, but also where we may have done so to another, at least come up short...a state of humility. Celebrate recovery😌.