The (trade) Secrets are out: There really aren't any. 

"So, what was the point of all this, then...?" An understandable question, especially if you read all 513 posts and digested all the information and meaning I earnestly tried to convey. One that my favorite professor and mentor I've repeatedly told you about here, would have responded to, "That's a great question!" --his response conveying you were worth listening to as well as reflecting a degree of humility, not having an immediate "definitive" response, after which he offered and modeled a process by which we could get there...together, as a team of re-searchers. An early glimpse of how we, as aspiring psychologists might approach those we are seeking to help out. And eventually the type of summary question, we found ourselves posing to those in our presence, especially in the office ("what were the major points you took away from today's session...?) in preparation for a possible return visit. Also one you might understandably pose here if you were a "late arrival to class" -- as in not a regular reader of this blog when it was conceived and why -- when I was prompted by circumstances beyond all our control (well, almost), those associated with the CV-19 pandemic that would likely evolve to interrupt the regular "flow of information" (i.e., "in office" visits), a way to continue to reaching out to the maximum number of people in the minimum space provided here, with some words of encouragement as well as some ponderings about topics and ideas that might assist in passing the time, until we could "get it all back together" (many times the main point in someone coming to the office, right?). During which time I have shared a great deal with you which I in turn learned from your-selves. Even more, beyond what our professors and textbooks taught us, reminding us...

"We're in this, together": As in a way, process of exploring problems, life challenges that may have no easy, immediate, "definitive" answer -- the effectiveness of which comes down to two main ingredients, or what we psychologists call " character traits": if YOU, being in the position of being a helper, are able to convey that you are approachable and that THEY, the person seeking your attention, are worth listening to. The two instrumental ingredients for establishing the kind of relationship that may allow for more complete, what we in the health care business, as well as those in legal settings, title "discovery", which is pretty much a pre-requisite for a more complete understanding ("personal awareness") and then coming up with better strategies for any presenting challenge. A process that becomes more effective as YOU the helper learn from experience, when to step in with what we, in the business call "interpretations" ("therapeutic timing" was the fancy term our professors used), when to give advice, and when, instead, the circumstances may call for, what I have shared here many times is my favored role, confront THEM with additional, "provocative!" questions. Most people, I have found, can actually come up with their own answers and solutions, under these conditions. A process and set of conditions YOU can bring about at home and elsewhere. The simplicity of which may cause you to conclude, "If it were this simple, everyone would be doing it, right?" 

As a parting comment, one more BTW: The average blog lifespan is approximately 100 days. As the inception of this particular site that you may be visiting for the very first time was 5-5-20, this means I've outlived expectations here several times over, while perhaps, based on the ebb and flow of the numbers of so-called followers, it's outlived its usefulness for some. Regardless, I can reassure you that if you continue to embody the traits of being approachable and a good listener, you'll find yourself in good company well into the future.