Eye Spy, All Senses on Alert. 

"I sense something; a presence I've not felt since..." Not since Dart Vader's unmistakable voice, presence, in Star Wars, 1977. But hear again, as well as what we are now seeing...Sensurround...

"Take a good look around" Which when I first heard it, upon (re)arrival, re-entry, sounded like a gracious host-friendly "well-come back!" - - this coming from a semi-familiar face at the front door, then by the ones responsible for the not-so-subtle changes all around me (see 7/15 here re: VND!) that culminated in a semi-rhetorical question "Like what I've done to the place?" Well, give me a minute to take it all in...the very first thing that caught my attention...

"Eye spy, with my little eye" (take you back a bit, to the most simplest games needing no props or electronics your parents taught you, that you could pass the time with, like during a long car ride) -- a lesson not only in visual acuity but how things could be hidden from you while also glaringly obvious, to someone else...Here and now, upon re-entry, though, it's all a blurrr...so much to take it all at once. But first things first, as you head straight -- well, more of a zig-zg now that thigs have been re-arranged a bit -- a result of all the studies from those so-called experts in ergonomics, biometrics, industrial psych's, along with the more traditional interior designer types, who just couldn't keep their mitts off my stuff, while I was in an extended stay away...First envisioning, then designing, and finally out-sourcing to assemble all the newest and best..."meeting or exceeding industry standards..." UGH!! Well, at least I found my cherished red stapler (you know, the highly sought after one, featured in "Office Space", almost a quarter of a century ago) was still in residence...while my practiced "little eye" noticed, sensed it was just a bit out of place...from where I left it, just in case...But, just as I mustered up the courage to speak up comes...

"Shhhhh!" The result of yet another group of studies accomplished in our absence (I mean they've had a few years, it should amount to something, right?) while we were a bit 'spaced out' -- which apparently enlightened them about what level, voice quality, tone, etc. etc. -- of background noise was optimal for worker satisfaction (read: "productivity" -- you think I'm a numbskull?!). Turns out that during all those zoom calls they were not only zooming in on my level of engagement, but also recording the personal background noises that were being picked up "inadvertently" (do they think I'm dense?!) and fed back through their spy ware, after which the noise experts sent to the HR folks, who could then present us, with a "friendly, familiar work space background ambience..." A whole new spin on "Alexa goes to the office day" Speaking of which, just when I thought I heard and saw it all, yet another spin as I spun around...

"Flo-max" LOL, I thought at first...someone around here actually has a sense of humor, if a bit in poor taste -- That is, combining the products contained in "Flonase" (which seems to be gaining popularity in our region due to the neighbors to our north sending us smoke signals on a regular basis lately), and the one know to more aging males, who have to, literally, "go" more often...the latter a more acute concern upon returning to the office, where the nearest rest-room is...But NO! it's actually yet another of those so-called hy-breds, brought to us by the executive "sweet" (it's actually the new lettering they re-arranged to spin this)...just a "gentle reminder" of what it takes in the form of work flow, productivity...for our Team! to stay competitive. Did they think I could not see through all this maze of gibbersish...

Eye "Spy the Lie" A cool read, book written by some ex-CIA agents whose job it was to vet potential agents, as well as to generally catch liars "in the act" -- which reminded me that it was not one single behavior but a collection of things, the accumulation of which led to an increase in suspicion --"Liar!" Which, in my case, as the 'lie detector', began with the impression that "well-come back!" meant something a bit different, less sincere than what you would hope for..."disingenuous" at best...and culminated in "Hey, next time you decide to decide to re-arrange things on my desk, do me a favor and put things back where they belong...did you think I wouldn't notice, that my red stapler was moved, as in counter-clockwise, an eighth of an inch...and did you fail to read the post it I left, just in case, that read...move this at your own peril...signed, Indiana Jones..."

The last laugh: If they are going to force me, as in the "call-back" I come prepared with a few clever come-backs of my own...