States of (what really) Matters: Primer in Playground Physics, Pressurized Pupils. 

Lessons Learned: Before we were allowed to even get a glimpse of the B's and the B's, the "good stuff" that the students of the "upper" grades conveyed to us via passing notes in the hallway, during what was, still, in some locales, referred to as "passing time" -- which became a strong ingredient of the recess! rumor mill, what we would be eventually be exposed to..."parts unknown to us" -- those that we would be informed of, "in due course". It's like They thought They all-ways knew what was best for Us...always imparting knowledge about our various body parts, functions...

In's and Out's, Ups and Downs: Before We were allowed to experience various functions, what we eventually learned as "functionality" we had to hear it over and over...in forms of lectures. This, prior to practical playground applications. That is, as in "what goes up...a body in motion, that pauses, at the top of the slide...might need the gentlest of nudges ("It's way past your turn, what are you waiting for...the whistle to blow, signaling the end of Recess!?!!!!"). What used to be allowed but no longer in this "No touch, even for tagging purposes...classroom climate control..." Even when working in tandem, spirit of co-operation, as in teeter tottering..."Farmer, Farmer let me down...I'll accept your conditions..." As in...

Conditional Release: What WE learned, early on, as the times, places, terms, conditions...way before we even dreamed (literally) of Recess! and the eventual attachments -- in the form of Rules & Regs...WE had gotten a brief glimpse of what's to come...what really mattered to Us, as We stood in line, at the appointed time, even less than a Recess! stone's throw away from the so-called "rest room" that adjoined to our classroom in the early grades, found "down and around" the corner of the hallway, in upper grades. Where we were lectured "one last time!" about the "do's and don'ts" and other proper bathroom (mis)behavior -- which, early on, took the form of "clean up after yourself" and grew to include..."no filthy language...messages, phone numbers...on the John walls..." on up to "no smoking in the boys room" -- the latter due, in part to what We all, already knew even before setting foot on the premises...nothing They could teach Us we didn't already know, about...

Gas leaks: That if You are told to "hold it in, stifle your...laughter...pent up your energy...be a body at rest..." Sooner than later, They will experience..." The natural results, a natural disaster for Them, but what We knew, They would eventually also try to take away...in the form of word forms of "pharting noises" that we could imitate through creative use of other parts of our bods...eventually, through the natural course of maturity..."It's a gas man!" (60's...early 70's for Us boom or busters) and then, ultimately, almost predictably, just as in what other valued assets, like Recess! They, the adults who just don't seem to get it...

Begged, borrowed, stolen, properties: As in "PLEASE do that elsewhere..." on to, after They finally caught on to Us -- the value added, an attachment of some stinky, smelly stuff that might signal a gas line leak, which We had already had many lessons in what could be experienced when the kid sitting next to me failed to announce as in a trumpet volley, a leak of his own -- no time to move away...what We came to call Silent-Butt-Deadly! ("What's that faint smell...I'm about to...") Culminating in those patent poachers, the ones that didn't even ask Our permission when almost stumbling on, and then bringing it out as if it were Their idea in the first place, as in a...

Natural pairing: A product of Our age, and a state of being, when We were stifled, suppressed, told "It's not the right time and place for these two things that seem to come so naturally to you...hold it until it's the appointed time..." The very same thing that You, no matter what age, could find your-self begging, when in the dentist's chair, "May I have just a touch more...laughing-gas?" Yep, you have Us to thank...BUTT...

NO! Thanks to Us: Youngsters who have been toiling, to avoid an embarrassing soiling, holding it in, on your behalf...If only you in the upper grades, classes, had just come to us a few minutes sooner, asked us for our help in solving what's been an other-wise perplexing global problem...We, US, could actually find Our-selves in the midst of an (almost) unlimited supply of what comes quite naturally to Us... 

Natural Gas Exporters: We've been here all along, just waiting for the opportunity, as "We have so much potential". So, We have been told.

Next, a (phart) Finale: "No laughing matter!" Going straight to the primary source(s).