Playground Patrol Pre-reqs, Recess! Ref Requirements...

"Apply Within"  What a weird ad for a person-nel who will not be spending much time inside, but instead patrolling the playground and the school-yard as well, while other-wise "looking after our children" -- another mis-leading phrase of someone who is expected to "stay a step ahead" of them...as part of the "job" description -- one more thing that needs to be qualified, now that most of the playground SUPERvisors have been defunded and thus, now a volunteer position, but one which still requires lot of background checks, counter checks, as well as some SUPER qualifications, of someone who is still, while likely one of the rascal's parent, expected, hopes at least, to "command respect" Think you got it, what it takes? Check the (sand) boxes...

SUPER-vision: Well, it only stands to reason, right? If you're going to be a SUPER-visor...A quality and tactical trait that is, itself multi-dimensional..."Hey, four eyes!" A quote capturing how kids in our school, who had to wear what were sometimes referred to as "spectacles" sort of made them one...And later, when we were in the midst of a serious competition..."Hey ref, you want to borrow some glasses...?!" More recently a special, Spectacular! type of specs, found on Google (hence "Google glasses") were banned in some places due to the type of tactical advantage they gave to those who donned them: "beware, no fair..." Here, a more naturalized version, one that we educator educators ("College of Ed.") look for in an effective classroom manager...one that carries themselves, no matter what angle they are positioned, at least convey the illusion..."they seem to have eyes in the back of their head...how did she see, catch me doing that...?!" For some this comes naturally but don't lose heart if you are inclined to volunteer for duty and can't on "signing day" check this box -- with time and playground practice...

SOUND Judgement: The kind that comes early and often for young parents, one that they hopefully never quite "habituate" to (for you who have taken your canines for conditioning) -- that allows you a degree of "discernment" (oft interchanged, con-fused with "judicious-ness") -- as to whether cries for help out on the playground need immediate response as well as at what level...sometimes referred to as "incremental responding" and others, as in the front office early each AM, find the admins donning the traits of what in the ER's are known as "triage nurses". Wait, don't get intimidated, run off just yet...we'll provide proper training and uniforms...

Stars and Stripes: The latter being requisite for any setting where you'll have to pose as a ref, a zebra striped shirt, which can be spotted a mile away, which "keeps them honest" and the other accessory, a bag of stars with what we called "stick-um" allowed teachers, on occasion, when we actually got caught doing something good, a reminder, such as when you arrived at home "what's that in the middle of your...?" Which tended to wear off by the end of the day (art or science?) Other-wise, on the playground, if used at the right intervals, well-timed, gives the one with "sound judgement" (see above) a way to "incentivize"...Getting it...? 

"MINE!" Crafter: Which, when used with a provided "lie detector" that now comes in a fanny pack size, for those of you who fear you'll be lugging around too much "stuff" requiring more storage capacity (see March 5th for full-er, expanded version) -- allows you, especially as you become more seasoned in the 'science and art' of playground warfare, detect, at a glance, whose ball it was..."possession being 90% of the law"..."caught you red-handed!" -- both tools of our trade, to keep them guessing...having fun yet...?

Bells and Whistles: A dynamic duo that have been time tested, in both the laboratory, with rats (what's referred to by researchers on the science of animal and human behavior ass "in vitro") and then transferred out onto the field of play..."in vivo" (as in "within the living") and eventually even "in situ" -- here conveying to the "end user" (you, the volunteer)...two different ways to get their attention...signaling various types of plays and even can be personalized -- such as when we grew up, could discern which dad was whistling..."you best get going, if you don't want to get grounded...😟😢🏃" -- or in "Sound of Music" became sound-nonymous with their individual character...The bells, of course, have largely displaced, replaced with AI, various tones of Alex-Ah: "Time to get up...time to come back in...I SAID NOW!!!" Some things never change...  

Tools and traits of the trade: if you don't come already possessing them, we'll provide the training...and provide you with a few extra tricks once you come aboard, as you'll need every one in your so-called tool kit and bag of tricks to keep the so-called upper hand...now that being a SUPER-visor on the playground is a "no contact, hands off!" proposition...

Please consider volunteering; pretty sure you can pass the background check...😉😟