Catastrophic ex-claims! and their Coverage. 

See the C's? And their inter, intra-connectiveness? Or am I, as usual, your so-called "Intrepid Investigative Reporter" (who is knocks on your door and interrupts at the most inconvenient times, day or night...) -- as well as, in the old daze prior to 'scream savers' "We interrupt your favorite program...😢 followed by "we'll join it back in progress...when we're through with you...😡 Other-wise the sole reporter who hasn't sold out, their soul....remaining completely un-biased...😇 Which has given rise to me, rising to the level of "syndicate" -- other-wise...sought out, whenever one of these "Calamities!" strike...

Count on It...I mean Me, whenever there's (not) sufficient "Breaking News!" that I, the one responsible for either the Creative Content or its ("full...impartial...") Coverage. As in being the "primary source" -- on the scene...seen it first with my own eyes, untarnished by another point of view...embedded every-where, so it seems...as in plastered all over...Speaking of...

Your Win, Lose-shield: "Can't rid yourselves of me...I'll follow you wherever you go...Mayhem!" If you haven't notice by now, you will after you read this, have a few moments between the "Catastrophic Coverage" that "We, at this station, did not really cause, but are more than happy to cover..." Which is also the main, as in primary impact, these commercials that, just by coincidence (or is it another "Con-spir...?") seem to immediately follow the so-called "footage" of "Nature's nastiest..." when other "murder and mayhem" isn't available (i.e., "if it bleeds, it leads...the evening news...") One which even reminds us "we are in good hands..." and another harkens back to our core "Liberty..." -repeated two times in case not drummed into your core...not to be confused with one that claims to be, on your side, no matter where, when -- they are "Nation-wide", after all -- so where are they, when I call with a claim...? And who can do without the "Farmers" who have been around this land to have seen just about everything...as well as lots of scammers, with dirt on their hands...? Which has led to them ruling out various specific claims coverage, claiming "we're not a bunch of dumb...Jack-asses, you know..." Only to be trumped by "blame your rejection of the claim on your bad nay-baw, who keeps filing false claims...it only takes one to ruin it...other-wise State Farm is here...for you..." 

Person-ified: A whole category of "C" words we learned about in "Psycho-pathology" as in the Chronic Complainers, no matter the meteorological conditions...ranging from Debby Downer, Ngative Nancy, Dread Ned...the ones that the News Breakers feast on, which is sort of like group therapy, come to think of it....And talking about conditions...

Age-Less: Good advice, as just as we get used to how to access and max out our few benefits we are actually "entitled to" we are faced with having to discern a whole new set of rules...as in Part A, B, C, and other alphabet soup we're told to consume..."at your leisure...as long as before dead-line or else..."

Meteorological coverage: As in "natural causes" we do/don't now cover, in full, but offer you what's known as a "rider". Kind of like adding insult to injury, eh? Oh, that's another type of insurance, altogether...And what about poor Beryl, who despite the evening news featured "slamming into Texas!" has been downgraded by the "adjusters" to "just another tropical storm, nothing special...not worth covering..." GEEZ!  

Cleansing actions: The kinds that many so-called "Info-mercials" bring you in form of products with all their own claims. But in the form of news-casts, come in the form of palate pleasing pics late in the coverage, that at least are a tacit attempt to make you forget all that woe-full stuff. And is it any Co-incidence that the Mayhem Man ad splattered all over my screen, is followed in kind by one featuring window washer fluid...kind of bugs me, what about you?

Count Your Blessings:  But read your policy, especially when it comes to the "finer print points"

Talk about covering crap, wait until next in-stall-meant: "TP, still on a roll..."