What’s your (out)take, on this fake…? 

“My turn, to ask the questions…Mr. Hogan…” (so said the ring announcer) - just after aka “The Hulk” announced his own arrival…”I’ve got more answers than you’ve got questions…but go ahead and try me…I made Ozzy look more like Harriet…showed up all the so-called showmen…I’ll call them all out, then throw them out, of the ring, by their...bling!"

“Which brings me to the first question, I’ve been wresting with…about this whole ring thing”

“Easy trapeze Announcer…man! “It’s where we professionals meet to square things up, settle the whole who’s got the best hair and in my rare case, macho mustachio!” Speaking of rare…if you ever find yourself on top, Hulk’s only rule…try not to drool, grosses me out more than that old lady picking her nose in the nose bleed section…wouldn’t want to run into her in a dark alley if you get my mid-drift…!” 

“Ok try this one on for size, settle the controversy that’s been whirling around the World Wide Web, Federation…does it really matter?” 

“Of course...every single ounce…gives you more bounce” (off the rubber mat, for those not in the know…who didn’t buy in, as in ringside seats)…just ask Andre, who needed new giant sized under…armor…”

“Speaking of matches…seems like all the other greats have sidekicks…”

“Don’t bother me with the other half…it’s simply because I can’t manage that move…too much bulk, not enough stretching…note to selfie…next time I’m in the gym…less creatine, more pro-tassium...going to need a bigger banana”

“Perfect positioning (as if we didn't rehearse this), as in segue...just what was your favorite...move?" 

“(Thoughtful pose, beautiful prose) “I’d have to say the bankroll…The Hulk did it in bulk”

--My own toast, from the host…given that he took the wrestling world by storm…”The Title Wave”

“Gonna miss you…BIG, man!