A failure, in (facial) recognition...

"I can hardly recognize..."  Me Selfie...as I gaze, through the haze, of my new lenses...everything old's been (re)made Gnu again - over and (make) over…

"Open your eyes..." At least try, given the heaviness in the eye, lids that cover the eyes that were already bigger than the pocketbook, as the saying goes...

"As plain as the nose..." Yeah, but where does one end, the other begin...wish I would not have given in to the other urge, to cut off my nose to spite my face...And the tummy tucker, I mean gut buster saying...

"Paper or plastic...?" (how do you intend on paying for this?) Given that insurance companies will not, except under the most extenuating circumstances, pay for all these "elective" otherwise termed, cosmetic surgeries...

"Take some tissues..."  A common phrase in my office and, as it runs out, in that of a particular cosmetic surgeon, as well...the one ("in depth investigation, where we will dig beneath the surface...") featured in the "botched procedures" (who even botched a batch of Botox) which not only left you questioning why the patient present did not have the presence of mind, to ask about the credentials (sorely lacking which left them with some open ones) but why they, themselves, asked for so many repeated "nose jobs" which resonated the line from Goldilocks..."too long...too short...OK just right..." or something to that affect. Repeated exposures of the (gross!) incompetence of the particular under-experienced surgeon, and the vast vanity of particular plastic patients...

"Bare bones" Given the amount of tissue required from other areas, as well as the state of their wallet after...going on what's currently touted as a "surgical vacation...way off location..." 

"False fronts" Which was the only thing we heard about growing up, an optional add-on to those lacking...but now, even a facade about pop-ups and their window dressing... 

"Next time around..." If You, or Your-selfie is considering such a transformation, you both might want to…blink again…


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