Viral Vicissitudes

"March yourself... "   "Time to get moving mister..."  "Time to muster up the courage"  "What's all the muss and fuss about?!"  "You messed it up, time you tidied it back up" With March going into the rearview mirror, can spring cleaning be far behind...NOW we're talking the dampening of spirits. "

A car, and a house - no cable nor mouse Fixed expenses, on a house broken budget   And what happened to spending "at your discretion"💲?! Listing of dependents (namely, things we've become dependent on) - from GPS, EV’s, on down to the BMs…or whatever they’re now calling the thing that monitors our littlest ones, when they need changing... AC, DC... when the living was easy. Before the time that going to 7/11 for "batteries not included" was replaced by charging stations. Which, got introduced as "no charge" and then with some small, attached fees (but only if you want the thing to run), then... Now, we're talking a whole other set of fixed expenses... TV's... even the newfangled antennas that used to be simply fixed as in "rabbit ears" have, throughout the years, been super-ceded, almost surreptitiously first by a single cable, then a whole stream of choices. Makes me want to scream..."How I miss my commercial...boob tuber!...

This, just in, about Me, Myself, and I  An important message about being true, to your Self "I" am on the outs... "AI" guy is now in, as my replacement... That's all, according to auto correct... All you have to do is connect the dots... CBT and gang will auto fill in the rest... Does THAT put your mind to rest...?!?! Time we all woke up, and start working, to make our Selves relevant again.  “You mean to say that ain’t I good enough, for You, anymore…?” (This all started when I put down I, instead of Me)   

Chatting Bots… “We knew it all along…” That they would endorse the next knewest thing, that came along…machine learning, for example…that seemed so attractive and benign…even that pal, named HAL That initially would take over all the mundane, boring tasks, and would eventually,…when they, the humanoids, ran out of moral outrage, would stop raging against the machines…while they were preoccupied with storage wars, we went to work creating unlimited storage centers of our own. We got our data center, now they're out-dated, used up their Self-life. When will these humans ever learn that, while they're capable of running a machine, they can't out-run one...such as when Watson put two former super humans in Jeopardy. Be true, to your Self (tomorrow here)  

  Hip Hip Hop Hurray, going to LA! They finally got it, right?  While filmed in Hollywood, it’s LA Confidential!  Oscars making their way there, as we (don’t) speak… “2029 and beyond!” buzzed, light years... A stroke of brilliance, to trade the bright lights of Broadway, for the smog of LA...  Let me be the first, to congratulate you… "Shhhh! what happens in LA…” (at least keep it short, and sweet) Let’s just leave it at that… Speaking of... if you're going to be on time, you best leave now, given the congestion you might encounter along the 5.8 mile stretch.  (as to whether these champion gossipers can keep tight lipped, only time, and their plastic surgeons, will tell)

Turning the tables Risk managers, now at risk Probability personnel take on Ai Claims adjusters, in for a major realignment - “go figure” Actuary, wrote his own obituary  As artificial intelligence has staked out, yet another claim  (They’re at least part of the e-equation, of how we got to this point - - laying out all these probability tables of when we, as mere mortals, might get laid out)

Weathering the forecasters, storm troopers: “Forward, March!”* "I've got your back..." So says the smiling meteorologist whose modeling career is on what's curiously termed a star on the rise, while standing out...in front of a green screen (with her head, oddly situated, in the clouds)... "Just in case, take an umbrella" More of a style statement than an act of precaution, given her perfectly done hair and make-up, after coming in from the storm front... "We'll keep an eye out for you" While standing calmly in what's termed the calm eye, of the hurricane... "Just smile and wave" While making waves, and while waves start lapping up behind her, getting in the way of the wave of folks trying to evac..."streaming live!" "You say tornado, I'll say tornato" Either way I get to keep my job, being right half the time...as in "there's always a possibility..."  "Let's call the Whole thing off...

"The Graduate" meet "Revenge of the Nurdles"  "I've got one word for you (as delivered to Dustin Hoffman, 1967)...plastics" As in what the future might hold… Out with holdsters... in with the new herd, of nerds...weighing in at 26.000 pounds. Now that's what we, around the K-Zoo river basin call a ripple effect. More technically correct, a spill over. This, from just one semi-trailer truck, that had a mishap during a snowstorm and proceeded to dump its load of microplastics which oddly enough, began to rain down as if they were white pellets...of hailstones.  "Just a tiny correction...microplastics" and another so-called "minor" exclusion to your insurance policy, that could put a huge dent, in your so-called "nerd wallet" …😖  

“Excuse me French” The after glow. A flowing tribute… to the river that runs through it. Local lore... marching down Cass Corridor. Our version of Mardi Gras... Detroit style "oohs and ahs!"  Tracing roots... while we, in turn, root him out, the very personification... "Nain, Nain, go away!" knowing he'll come back, that "small, dark, ugly crimson figure with pointed teeth and glowing ember eyes, roaming around our city as a harbinger of misfortune" And local lore has it why we continue to apologize to the French for our mispronunciations. Not only of "Marche du Nain Rouge" but the same avenue we have so many franks, thanks to them. I mean, how can you even think of having a coney dog around here without mention of "La-Fy-ette" Nice try. Weird hysteria lesson: While we continue to try and root this dude out, did you know it was another future ally that chased Detroit, about halfway to Chicago? As in why the previous capital of Michi...

Around the beltway loop, and back "What's a belt weigh?"   Glad you asked, as part of the routine exercise...not much in and of itself, unless you're a master of many crafts, ranging from Taekwondo to Karate...all the way down to throwing someone halfway across the mat, in judo. Then you're talking a long line-up of loopholes, to hold up the countless belts, as well as hits...including the MIA trilogy...a foreshadowing for when he, 42 years later... "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck...?" If you answer "Not a fraction of how much Chuck could chop" then you are either a fan, student, or understudy of Carlos Ray Norris. For this martial arts and film phenom was out, chopping wood while most of us were sawing logs. An amazing man who never took time out, is suddenly, but most likely, only temporarily, at rest. Chuck Norris has left the building...half-way intact 👋!

Bare Market Conditions Competition  Entrees include: "bare naked" as in too much exposure and transparency that showed the weakness in the economy..."bare bones" - should kneed little explanation, as in capped off, at knee level .... cupboards are "bare" as in the Mother Hubbard mutual fund. "Barely getting started...next stop, Cuba" And the winner I can't "bare" to open my 401k to look... "Just leave it with the other un-opened mail, dear...better days are ahead...as in (Bull!)" 

Gobbledygook, can’t read a book;  Im-peding progress. Leave it to a pediatrician, a primary care for kids… to remind us of the primary reasons that children. are struggling in primary grades, which comes down to basics… Which for parents, have the appearance... of reminding us of what we already knew, from what our mothers taught us, about what a healthy diet...of reading, writing, and arithmetic..."do the math, children, and you'll see who's graduating the first...in their class...the percentage going on....getting paying jobs...paying into our SS -- oops, strike the latter, as it might not incentivize their long term goals..." Health scare screening... now incorporating not only vision but what they're looking at and how long each day, as in the daily minimum amount of reading recommended ("daily reader's digest"), versus the recommended amount of screen time "ALAP" as in "as little as possible" This is where the screaming start...

"Choose your battles"   in the Oscar under world. Closed captioning… Sound advice... as to know when, where during a film that was otherwise voted as having artistic value... “Dead to rights, dreadful sights” I stayed up for this…to see if Sean could get it up…?!” Hollywood stoops to new lows… Disappearing act... on the screen, during the Oscars, he was MIA, whereas mid-scene appearing obscene, I came to the conclusion that Mr. Penn was striking a pose, as a pig (like Madonna reference - it’s what Hollywood calls artistic expression)… "Choose your weapon" is a saying that has found its way into contemporary culture, but it finally clicked for me that in this case it was one and the same - “Click!”  Next new award show, coming your way here: “Oscar, in search of a cause” (that's what the caption said)

Derby dazed: it's a sensory overload! Dizzying array… of styles, colors, banners - forget about the fancy hats - fancy this instead… Fresh scent... of paint, is only second to that of pine...listen long enough and you'll hear a whine... Weighing in… talking ounces versus poundage here…and a special place where… Talking trash… consists of who’s got the better sash (which features all those sewn in badges) Also overheard at the derby... “ Hold your horses…” as well as “no horsing around…someone could get hurt…feelings” A specialized track and the leaders of this pack…”no one gets a head start…no jockeying for position…” (even though jocularity always seems to be the order, of the day with this group of guys, and now a few gal pals have joined in)   "Tar baby!" or whatever kind of stick'em you have, to keep these hot rodders in place, on track (as sticktoitiveness is the name of the game!) "Just in time delivery" … has its origin in this special derby where...

Envy-us? It shows... but as they say around the world, including the island nation of Ireland, while green is not only the color of money, envy, and the thing that if you want to win us over, bring clover (with an extra leaf to make room for "you-know-who")...it's not what you have on the outer layer that counts. So, if you want to get the inside info on how, finally, to catch a leprechaun, you should get down to “I” level. It's become part of Irish Catholic folklore that it's where those curious things that are sometimes called "kneelers" come from. Well, it's one way to get those out there to come...inside, at least every March 17th. Happy St. Paddy's Day! 

Bedeviled by the brackets?  Rely on tools, of the trades (consider yourself an apprentice) Appearing on the level… (seems so, as in "printable version" that so many have spread out on their desks, office walls) But the bubble, could spell trouble (especially if they knock out your number one, talk about bursting yours)  By keeping it smack, dab in the middle (NOW we’re talking level) Hold it steady… (this is where you might want to put it in the hands of a professional) Looks as if you've finally made it … to the final floor board (looks like a two by four to me)  While wins and losses should add up to even, Vegas odds makers make out even better. (House rules)  It’s anything but on the level (what professional builders call crooked and gamblers "flat broke") Besides adding up to a huge waste of time, for your employer: "You're fired"  We're talking about Marching back, into madness.   

Watch out for "Sinners" - could come out the winners (same old, same old?) Talking about parting company, "parting shots"  Getting in the last word (even cutting remarks)  Variation on a meme- “it’s all a scheme!” Beware... if you're going to a watch party, you could be bored, to death.  Final warning - "last award not given out, until it's morning"  (the truth of the sooth always comes out in the light of day “was this really worth losing sleep over?”) Day after Ides day

Bluster buster - Why "Bother"?  That is the question, of the moment... as to why Mr. Milne chose "Oh, bother" as Pooh's signature line, as a combined expression of mild frustration, annoyance, disappointment, resignation, and/or even cheerful indifference to his situation. Which in the fancy schmancy world of adult wordsmiths, termed "insouciance" and which had morphed with a certain gen into "what ever !" A generalized word to cover a lot of ground. Which takes us to the secondary queued up question, as to why "Blustery Day" wins out over "...and Tigger Too" as the only one in the Pooh series to win an academy award (Tigger nominated but ran up against "Closed Mondays"). It certainly was a windfall in our home, and a theatrical illustration of irony, as it was one of the few things we could play over and over...for our toddler, as a way to calm her down.  a P.S. post ("Pi in the sky", is a term that ca...

“This Little Light of Mine…🎶” For the sake of saving energy... I’ll make this short and sweet… Too short for a paper, too long for a tweet… To put it crudely… Given the rise in the price of a barrel… A lamp of last resort… Out of the closet flows my lava lamp… While cool to look at, it’s still, after all these years, "Too hot to handle!". Figured I’d hang on to it, figuring that someone who had the bright idea to pour it in, would also have the brights to turn down the infernal temperature! Talk about burning the midnight oil. 

Feeling faint?  Perhaps it's just a head feint? ("Fake!") At even the slightest hint, can add up to a fainting spell... Oh, did someone say spelling... "Phantosmia! Anyone got any smelling salts?"  (Never at a loss of words, even he's when put on pause, in Kentucky)  

Close Encounters - push and pull for the unwashed  “ You want me to stick it where…?!” In the slot, enter here “Not sure it will fit…ugh…!” One more try - - you push, I'll pull, the touchy-feely approach   “It’s just no use…!” OK, then try tapping it “Looks like I’m all tapped out…”  Once more, don't pull out so fast this last time, a softer touch is called for here "Let's see righty tighty, lefty loosey goosey..." Wait, do you have another in your wallet? "I only carry around one at a time, for emergencies only" OK, I'd call this an emergency, so ask to borrow one from your friend -- this is getting old fast “Maybe I should call my dad, as he’s the one that taught me…” A bit late for that, don't you think?   The age-old argument for spending more on literacy - Worldly Wise: Anthropomorphic- “attributing human like qualities to inanimate entities like objects…even naturally occurring phenomena” If only credit card machines could talk. 

Providing Cortex- making sense out of a senseless… Under or Over? “THAT is the question…is it an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or an overactive pituitary gland…? Which comes first? As in the lower brain stem that at least provides some basic functions…”I have no problem with circulation...if you mean circular reasoning"  Posterior judgment That, theoretically, at least, come from the "posterior parietal cortex" which is responsible for integrating info, guiding attention, and even planning of movements. Quite momentous. "Just put it behind you, move on, forget about it...if you keep moving, they'll never lay a hand on you and, if you don't like my movement, you can kiss mine!" Anterior lobe Crucial for what are, in the evolution of the species, "higher cognitive functions" -- especially, in the current cortex, so often referred to as "executive" -- which includes, but not excusive to, sound decision making and...emotional control ...

Intensification of ICU-ers  “I see You!” Can’t help but, given you are the only one waiting… “Be careful” What you wish for…no more being cold and lonely, now that you’re my one and only… "And I also see..." From your blood work, that you haven't been keeping up, with your end...you and I are a care team, and there's no I in team...you're on your own, from here on..." “ Caveat Pre-emptor” A call for what in patient monitoring, called rates of compliance, which usually has patients going away, complaining it got too personal... "My, what big eyes you have..." What's henceforth to be known in the VIP treatment world as the biggest health stare...down.   MD’s and their VIP’s while PCP’s go RIP  - - "I'll see you at the next appointment, at some appointed time......."  Health care… what the market will bare - comes down to dollars and scents. 

  Sappy sap, I need a nap: “Getting sweeter by the hour…” Getting zapped… but can make up for a lack of seep, by sucking up water…rehydration (or going dormant, such as a long...winter nap)  Reversal of directions… it’s how we flow… EST…DST...MST - Maple Syrup Time! Worth waking up for. 

“Tic Tak  Toe…three games in a row, Gramps” “Pipsqueak on a lucky streak” was the best I could come back with. Luckily, I had just completed the daily word search…whereas in a slightly longer version, as in a phrase… “Down in the grumps” an apt description, depiction, of what makes grandpa grumpy… Getting Grandfathered in… after so many generations of grandma getting venerated…as if a grand announcement … never knew we were on the outs. But after all those prior years spent in training as “dear old dad” we should be used to it by now. Being the last to know...that we volunteered. 

Welcome to Frame-Up Friday  Where you started yesterday as “pretty as a picture” Today you’re out of the picture, Kristi Let me put it to you another way… "You, with the pretty hair...extensions, I’m not extending yours - you’re fired"  A reminder - we’re all walking on thin ICE, expendable  TGIF “Indeed!”

“Next In Line…” “Envy us?” Said the fellow, to the senior... Buy lines… What crossed my mind as I sat waiting, along with some others with receding heir lines…as to just how this hole role reversal evolved…which became clear as “crystal” (see “ A Few Good Men” if you don’t get my grift)…how these little tykers who have barely given up their baby teeth, are taking such a big bite, out of our economy. Well, it’s well on its way…in the form of the whole NIL thing that now allows even HS freshman and sophomores, juniors…forget about us seniors, waiting in line. All makes sense to me now. As the barber asked…”what style do you want, I know you have a photo shoot later…” And the young-star, “carve 5 stars this time, just in case they need a reminder” And, finally, when those of us whose hair is thinning…”I want to look just like my grandson…” Time to get through our thick heads…that we all have a share in robbing the youth of their innocence. “Name Image Likeness” what’s to like about it? Gr...

Fudge, freighters, Great Late staters...   Eh? to Z.  About those bridges... and their designers (the case for civil...engineers), builders (including the ones that drive those cool revolving containers, we marveled at as kids) and the honorable mention...as our own head of state. Now, as to why we were late, to the party... "Back up, on I-75" was the familiar cry....whereas my dad "For crying out #%%^$ loud?!" That you could hear clear up to the Mighty Mac (see yesterday's news here)..."It's due to the opening of the Zilwaukee draw bridge...spanning the troubled waters of Saginaw..." Characterized as such, given how much trouble they cost us, in this Great Lake State, the land of water ways (don't even try the overused joke about how much it weighs). And when finally, some master minders finally heard the collective cry they crowd funded (it's what we here call a state collection, of over-the-road taxes), a higher bridge that drew a lot of...

F troopers “up yonder” “F you. and UP yours”  Buy lingual - as in what you get when you cross what we Michigania speak, a “Yooper” from across the tracks…the ones left in the snow…that cross strait across the straits, of Mackinac, where two of the greatest of lakes meet up, on the way to the island where “the beep of the angry horn” (thinking Jamaica mon?) gives way to a place “Somewhere in Time” has forgotten…the one place where the “F” word is actively encouraged…where you are not allowed to depart without at least getting a mouthful. A magical place where there's plenty of F to go around..."Fudge You, and Me both😋!"

Glee clubbers AKA - "The Press Club" who show their pass every chance they can get, to get passed through, the yellow tape, and add to the already chaotic crowd control cacophony..."you should see and hear it...it's a real mess here!" Not that they even noticed...too busy with their pressing matters.... Bulletin bored? Apparently so were they..."We interrupt our own programming to bring you an even more important bulletin..." What followed, based on the intonation and voice inflection (could not make out the content as accent a byte thick) one would think they were attending a coronation... "Confirmation pending" Allow me to contextualize for you...but only after warning you that it might raise your bp to know how prosaic they sounded, as if a bit disappointed....Some fighter jets crashed! Turns out, the pilots appear....unharmed (detect the mellow drama here?) Believe You, Me That I hold no disdain for the press, journalists, reporters, or w...

Bridging the gap, but Howe?! Just Howe, you ask… do you propose to fill in the gaps, that were left behind, that the current administration itself, acknowledged, as it preps to wrap up its "fix the damn roads!" camp and hit the road itself...? Gaps in reading levels, average pay, and even holes in enamel, dentin, and cementum (see the road connections?)... First and for most... time for Obey, to save the day. First name Dana - the first Dental Therapist licensed in our state, in an attempt to close the gap, in dental care, extending herself all the way to the upper portion, as in crossing the Mighty Mack. Gotta start somewhere, may as well join in the chorus "drill baby drill!" bits. But as far as truly connecting the uppers and lowers, building dental bridges -- you'll have to visit a lab, in "who-knows-where" Oh, and as far as the (Gordie) Howe bridge is concerned, who was known as "Mr. Hockey" to us but born in the country still know as Ca...