Close Encounters - push and pull for the unwashed 

“You want me to stick it where…?!”

In the slot, enter here

“Not sure it will fit…ugh…!”

One more try - - you push, I'll pull, the touchy-feely approach 

“It’s just no use…!”

OK, then try tapping it

“Looks like I’m all tapped out…” 

Once more, don't pull out so fast this last time, a softer touch is called for here

"Let's see righty tighty, lefty loosey goosey..."

Wait, do you have another in your wallet?

"I only carry around one at a time, for emergencies only"

OK, I'd call this an emergency, so ask to borrow one from your friend -- this is getting old fast

“Maybe I should call my dad, as he’s the one that taught me…”

A bit late for that, don't you think? 

The age-old argument for spending more on literacy - Worldly Wise: Anthropomorphic- “attributing human like qualities to inanimate entities like objects…even naturally occurring phenomena” If only credit card machines could talk. 

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