Viral Vicissitudes

Watch Your Language, Use Your Words (wisely): Psychological Impact. Talk about Defensive, Offensive: As in language -- words, phrases, statements reflecting where we are on this continuum of psychological dynamics (see Sept. 23rd, 25th posts). Words and phrases that may be well thought out or more spontaneous, as in speaking extemporaneously (or having to write impromptu) -- both the latter sans notes or a teleprompter. Words that have different impact in different situations with different people with different backgrounds, reflecting their culture, experiences (including those of a more traumatic nature) and, of course, language. Whether casual, formal, incidental or calculated, it matters...what words, in what sequence, combination, and timing, and context. Starting with... Early and Often:  As in early in life as well as each day, when we are greeted with (or are the one delivering) "Good morning" (or something to that effect). Some of us are morning people where such a g...

Talk about Being at Odds: Offense, Defense, having a ball...Psychological Dynamics!  Feeling the Need: To elaborate, that is. In part because the last post was so brief (which many found welcome). In part because, despite the simple truths of the value of engagement X 3 (see September 23rd, only takes a minute) left many still unmotivated, 'unmoved'. And because, even if you initially appreciated my words of encouragement, exhortation, attempts to motivate, stir you into action (mentally, physically, socially), you still might be feeling a bit defensive , even found what I said a bit offensive ! Why, you might ask yourself...? Why?! Let Me Explain: Good question, glad you asked; let me elaborate...well, let me provide a partial  explanation in this field of psychology, which still provides me and you with many frontiers to explore, to unlock the true secrets of what motivates and sustains us, especially under the most difficult conditions...for why, earlier in our life, for ex...

Feeling At Odds: a bit resistant, languid, mentally disengaged? Well...Engage, Engage, Engage! Paradoxical Intentions, Responses, Me against You (?): Just when you (or I, for that matter) find yourself at a low ebb, whether because of external circumstances, calamities, or...a pandemic (!), I am asking, encouraging, even pleading with you to do the opposite of what every particle of your being is inclined to...you're feeling like just doing nothing, disengaging, going back to bed and pull over the covers, while I instead am trying to pull them off...what a struggle, tussle, tug-of-war...if one did not know better, they'd think we're at odds...and this, after you called my office for help in the first place, asking for some guidance, strategies to lift your spirits, stamina, and what I am suggesting is the opposite of what you want to hear or do...That is, to up, max your mental, social, and physical engagements! (Guaranteed): One of those few things we can guarantee in this...

Mind Your Manners; Do Manners Still Matter...Never Mind! Mannerisms. Etiquette Eschewed, Righteous Rudeness:  With the unraveling of manners, can civilization survive, as we know it at least? When people are so thin skinned that they can't take someone poking a little fun, when they are so ready to pounce back, say "gotcha!", can we enjoy any spontaneous discourse anymore? Are we completely lacking in good humor (see 9/19)? When people are anxious to stake their claim as a victim and then turn around, with vengeance on their hearts and minds, who and what to blame...? With the cancel club clubbing and destroying anything remotely controversial from eons ago, when 'they' were not so enlightened as us, might we be in the cross hairs in the future? When local health and school officials, in response to their attempts to keep students and staff safe, receive death threats, who will step up and lead? All these perplexing questions regarding what appears, based on a cur...

Are you serious?! No kidding, they said it! International Relations Lite International NJK day?  "NJ" because these one-liners which otherwise taken out of context would not seem humorous in and of themselves. Coinciding with really serious stuff -- if you hadn't heard them on "World News Live" the last few days, you'd think they were in jest. At a serious time. Serious subjects. Potentially provocative if the other party completely lacked humor. If poorly timed, could easily start a real calamity, an international incident..."SERIOUSLY?! "  Let's clear the air, from their lips to... How many times have we seen, read this...situations that where you walked into the room and the ambient intensity was already palpable and a spokesperson, in an attempt to lower the temperature says something well-intended, but ill-timed, poorly worded, which ends up heating things up to such a degree the principals in charge of easing a potentially catastrophic si...

Speaking of US, Adults: "All we needed was for one adult..." Don't look away, in the spotlight: Please stay with me here, as I continue to reflect with you on the critical importance of all of us adults to all our children's futures, their physical, mental, and financial well-being (see September 14). Their basic feelings of security that allow them to venture out into the world, to take healthy risks, knowing we will continue to step up and say "No" if they are about to get into danger, expose themselves to unnecessary or otherwise unhealthy influences, circumstances, pursuits, etc. US having the courage to say "no" to them as well as others who may put them in harm's way without a significant reason, a reason that may include saving the lives of others. WE certainly wouldn't let others harm them if we knew...which takes US back to a protracted period of time during which many accomplished and aspiring gymnasts were subjected to egregious ...

Weather or not, we're doomed...children.  Punctuation, Marks: As our grade school grammar teachers emphasized, its all about punctuation: where you place commas, questions marks, exclamations, semi-colons; colons. Yes, it's all in support of proper grammar and, of course, for effect.  As in the difference between "Whether or not, we're doomed...children" and "Whether or not we're doomed children..." The first reflecting a fait accompli, the latter some equivocation. It's also, then, how we present information to our children and students of all ages, in order to punctuate their consciousness, make a mark on their perspective regarding the world around them, to make them more aware, even scared...whether it's about the ______ wave of COVID or the ongoing 'discussion' -- if you can call it that as it's less often in the form of Q&A than a monologue, even an indoctrination, whether it appears as an article in their social media o...

Finally, finale...(zoom) lights, (computer, smart phone) camera...Click!   Back, In, to Reality: So, you've about had it, with both this series on "Terms of Engagement", as well as engagements from a distance, and you are longing for an end to this series, for some actual concrete strategies for Upping Yours (September 10th), as well as some real, 'in vivo' (a term often used in psychology after we have practiced in the office 'in vitro', and feel you are ready for the real thing). And, as the director of this play, I've taken you through a prescreening to remind you of your personality, you predispositions when it comes to approaching and departing, the importance of sustaining mental, physical, and physical engagements for your well-being, including  and especially  during times and situations where you feel restricted...well, finally, I will reveal some tricks of the trade, which are actually derived from YOU (i.e., stuff that's not found in tex...

Speaking of Engagements - Up Yours! "Listen Up!" As our coaches, teachers, and even parent were inclined to exclaim, whenever it was an acutely important time for us to, well, listen...to make sure we "got it!" in response...thought it timely here to make sure you are paying full attention, after so many posts on this same sub-topic of engagements, that you may be tiring, becoming bored, even disinterested...tempted to even disengage...indulge me just a little longer here, as I preface the promised specific strategies for enhancing the ways in which you engage, how you approach, sustain, and depart from various functions, both those you have been looking forward to for months, as well as those you just as soon avoid, perhaps dreading for the same months...a pause as we all find ourselves globally and locally in a state of transitions, especially back to work and school after summer vaca's (staycations?), at least after a national pause called Labor Day...it'...

The Ins and Outs of Your Ins and Outs: Terms of Engagement(s) - Part 4 It's Personal:   I'll say it one more time, here and now...we all have our own preferences as well as personal styles of how we approach and leave various engagements, whether those of which we have little choice, reluctantly volunteered (perhaps coerced by spouse as in military style -- "You don't have to like it; just do it!"), or completely and freely our choice, highly endorsed. How we engage, disengage. In order to add any value to how  you do this each and every day, I already had you do a personal inventory of traits, reflected by hundreds, thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of accumulated engagements. Now, I seek to engage your imagination, just prior to specific strategic recommendations. So, just for a few moments, imagine (as in role playing, otherwise referred to as visualization to desensitize, otherwise referred to as dress rehearsal, otherwise referred to as visual simulatio...

  Global Crossings, Crisscross, Double Crosses...Terms of Engagement - Part 3 (of 4?) Think Global, Act Local: Prior to returning to your/my personal inventory of traits associated with how we tend to approach and/or retract (or even avoid altogether) from various types of engagements in daily life, as we prepare to return to work and school following what we call Labor Day around here, prior to offering you more specific strategies for engaging life on your terms, I think it worthy of our time to at least briefly highlight here some notable (i.e., "news worthy") arrivals and departures, comings and goings, crossings and even double crossings that have global, regional, local, and perhaps even personal impact, such as: Paralympians Prep to Depart: From Tokyo, that is. Well, some already have, as it's not unusual for athletes to come and go at different times, according to their schedule of respective events. But, after spending whatever part of the two weeks for these Tok...

Itinerant Identity: Terms of Engagement - Part 2        As I've already said, we've all  been in on this, even while we were quarantining, sheltering in place, during which time we were nevertheless at least planning  for departure  and/or arrival , even it was within our home, which also served as a school, an office, a ???, to arrive at a Zoom or Webex  meeting on time, or surreptitiously turn off the camera and either go out for a breath of fresh air, go to the 'cafeteria' (aka kitchen) and get a quick bite, or ??? Changing directions, rooms, seats, hats...sometimes felt like we went through a portal, may just as well have had a turnstile (like in the subway) in our own home, dropped a token for every time we entered or exited...or perhaps a revolving door, to remind us of each transition, having gone from one area of the office building (or school) to another, including the restroom... Know Thyself:  Even during these times the way i...

Grand Entrances, Graceful Exits...Comings and Goings...Terms of Engagement - Part 1 Ready, Set,... By the time you've started reading this, no matter what time zone or zip code you find yourself in, you have either a) prepared to depart and/or arrive somewhere, or b) in 'transition' (better not be reading if driving, OK if you're on the bus, subway, Uber, or other form of public/private transit), or c) arrived at your destination, disembarked, and...or, finally, d) prepared to receive someone(s), or already done so. Yep, a lot of our day is spent going to and from, making entrances and exits, in destinations of an obligatory nature that we may lack enthusiasm for, if not outright disdain, or those more discretionary, which we may have been counting down time, being held back by others (such as parents, as in "It's not time to go yet, the party's not until....it would be rude to..."). At this very moment all over our local community, our nation, and thr...